She was sitting on the edge of my bench. I was fruitlessly waiting for the wireless internet to be turned on. The whole town was shut down. Local commemorations were taking place and businesses had been closed for the past 24 hours. People were congregating outside storefronts, waiting.
She started wailing. ‘Jon Paul!’ she yelled and grasped at the air. I was so close yet a whole language away from being able to understand. People were staring from below. Our balcony seating left us as a spectacle to the town of stagnant people. I must have had a pleading look on my face, because within minutes a Rwandan man appeared.
English?
Yes.
Is there a problem?
She just started crying.
He inserted himself on the bench between us. It was a few minutes before she would respond to his simple question of ‘What is your name?’ She launched into her story. He listened quietly, mostly looking away. Whenever I thought she was done, she’d start up again. Yelling, sobbing, pleading, grappling. My Jon Paul! My child! A sweet lullaby came from her lips.
She did eventually calm down. He turned to me with tears welling in his eyes.
She has many problems. It is very sad. She found out she is HIV positive. She went to the sector office but the government would do nothing for her. She is a genocide survivor. Her son, Jon Paul, was killed. I offered her water. She said she would not drink water until she finds Jon Paul.
He went on to explain how he heard her crying out from below. He saw I was the only one there. He came to protect me in case she wanted to fight. As I may have noticed, Rwandans usually do not show emotion like that. In his opinion, the men are fine but apparently when in distress like that the women can be dangerous.
Did she pick my bench on purpose? Did she think I could offer her something? Did she want to hurt me? Was her pain blinding her from any forethought whatsoever?
Friday, April 30, 2010
Moving to Site
In roughly 9 days I will be moving to my site. My whole life will change, including my access to the internet. I may be MIA for about a month. Don’t be alarmed. I’m sure I’ll be setting up house, meeting my whole village and getting oriented. I don’t have electricity and I won’t necessarily have access to a modem during the first month. I’ll come back eventually and tell ya all about it.
Advice to Future PCVs
Advice from the first 9 weeks
Computers:
Most of us fall into one of three categories. Those who did not bring a computer. Those who bought a cheap, light weight net book. And those in love with their Macs. I fall into the last category. Although my MacBook is large and heavy, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It is definitely a personal decision. Net books are inexpensive and easy to carry around. You can buy a CD drive to attach and an external hard drive if you want. The biggest perks about Macs in general is of course its exemption from the common virus. Viruses are a huge problem here. Using a public computer here (or even a Peace Corps computer) with your flash drive infects your flash drive which then infects your personal computer. People are leery to let you put your flash drive in anything of theirs. Something to think about…
Contact lenses:
Peace Corps tells you not to bring contacts and if you need glasses, to bring two pairs. They won’t yell at you if you bring your contacts, they just don’t endorse it and aren’t going to supply you with contact solution. I went back and forth on whether to bring my contacts and finally decided I couldn’t stand wearing glasses for two years. Especially when I think of that great raccoon sunburn you get around the eyes or how you can’t see when it rains. If you decide to do the same, you’ll need to get contact solution shipped to you. I found these great monthlies. You can leave them in your eyes, day and night, for 30 days. My eye doctor encouraged me to take them out once a week to clean them overnight. The biggest concern here is not that you’re sticking your dirty fingers in your eyeball; it’s actually the air quality. I’ve got two words for the Rwandan government – emissions control. Plus I’ve heard the dust gets fierce during the dry season. I haven’t lived through it yet so I can’t comment. I have noticed that when I go to Kigali my contacts get a little upset. I usually have to clean them shortly after because they get filmy and finicky. Other than that I’ve been pleasantly surprised with my new contacts. I highly recommend them.
Clothing:
Yes, most Rwandans dress conservatively. Kigali is always the exception. As a metropolis, the rules often change when referring to Kigali. For females, we were told to bring skirts, long ones. Some are opposed to wearing skirts and dresses all the time. The skirts don’t have to be to the ground. As long as your knees are covered you’re fine. Don’t show a ton of cleavage either, but tank tops are acceptable. You can wear jeans, sneakers, sweatshirts, almost everything you wear at home. If you’re concerned about clothes, don’t be. You’ll be able to buy stuff here. Most of the clothing in the market is second hand from America, I’m assuming. It’s not uncommon to find American Eagle, Gap clothing etc. Not to mention all the hilarious, random t-shirts and of course Obama on every type of clothing. I hope to make an Obama wardrobe while I’m here. My favorite Obama find so far has been a poster of rap/hip hop artists and Obama in the middle. He is a rock star!
Packing:
We all walk around during PST discussing our list of what we should have brought. In fact most of it we owned and they were the last few things that we pulled out of the bag before getting on the plane. Those of us whose luggage was underweight (mine was 30 lbs underweight in total) have nothing to brag about anymore. Sure we had an easier time traveling. And I was definitely frightened of the fact that I had to lug all that baggage around personally. But now I wish I had used every last pound. It is much more expensive to have things shipped later. Cram stuff in. The prize possessions I’m glad I brought:
Can opener
Vegetable peeler
Safety pins
Things I wish I had thrown in:
Perfume – indeed sometimes you’d like to smell good, even in Africa.
Duct tape
Spices and seasoning
A few good knifes to cut with
A bottle opener to stick on my keychain – so many Fantas to open, so little time.
A good hiking backpack
More cardigans and sweaters – it’s beautiful here but even if you’re from Michigan, your blood getting thinner and you just want to snuggle up in a sweater.
A map of Rwanda
I could go on for days…but you get the idea.
Computers:
Most of us fall into one of three categories. Those who did not bring a computer. Those who bought a cheap, light weight net book. And those in love with their Macs. I fall into the last category. Although my MacBook is large and heavy, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It is definitely a personal decision. Net books are inexpensive and easy to carry around. You can buy a CD drive to attach and an external hard drive if you want. The biggest perks about Macs in general is of course its exemption from the common virus. Viruses are a huge problem here. Using a public computer here (or even a Peace Corps computer) with your flash drive infects your flash drive which then infects your personal computer. People are leery to let you put your flash drive in anything of theirs. Something to think about…
Contact lenses:
Peace Corps tells you not to bring contacts and if you need glasses, to bring two pairs. They won’t yell at you if you bring your contacts, they just don’t endorse it and aren’t going to supply you with contact solution. I went back and forth on whether to bring my contacts and finally decided I couldn’t stand wearing glasses for two years. Especially when I think of that great raccoon sunburn you get around the eyes or how you can’t see when it rains. If you decide to do the same, you’ll need to get contact solution shipped to you. I found these great monthlies. You can leave them in your eyes, day and night, for 30 days. My eye doctor encouraged me to take them out once a week to clean them overnight. The biggest concern here is not that you’re sticking your dirty fingers in your eyeball; it’s actually the air quality. I’ve got two words for the Rwandan government – emissions control. Plus I’ve heard the dust gets fierce during the dry season. I haven’t lived through it yet so I can’t comment. I have noticed that when I go to Kigali my contacts get a little upset. I usually have to clean them shortly after because they get filmy and finicky. Other than that I’ve been pleasantly surprised with my new contacts. I highly recommend them.
Clothing:
Yes, most Rwandans dress conservatively. Kigali is always the exception. As a metropolis, the rules often change when referring to Kigali. For females, we were told to bring skirts, long ones. Some are opposed to wearing skirts and dresses all the time. The skirts don’t have to be to the ground. As long as your knees are covered you’re fine. Don’t show a ton of cleavage either, but tank tops are acceptable. You can wear jeans, sneakers, sweatshirts, almost everything you wear at home. If you’re concerned about clothes, don’t be. You’ll be able to buy stuff here. Most of the clothing in the market is second hand from America, I’m assuming. It’s not uncommon to find American Eagle, Gap clothing etc. Not to mention all the hilarious, random t-shirts and of course Obama on every type of clothing. I hope to make an Obama wardrobe while I’m here. My favorite Obama find so far has been a poster of rap/hip hop artists and Obama in the middle. He is a rock star!
Packing:
We all walk around during PST discussing our list of what we should have brought. In fact most of it we owned and they were the last few things that we pulled out of the bag before getting on the plane. Those of us whose luggage was underweight (mine was 30 lbs underweight in total) have nothing to brag about anymore. Sure we had an easier time traveling. And I was definitely frightened of the fact that I had to lug all that baggage around personally. But now I wish I had used every last pound. It is much more expensive to have things shipped later. Cram stuff in. The prize possessions I’m glad I brought:
Can opener
Vegetable peeler
Safety pins
Things I wish I had thrown in:
Perfume – indeed sometimes you’d like to smell good, even in Africa.
Duct tape
Spices and seasoning
A few good knifes to cut with
A bottle opener to stick on my keychain – so many Fantas to open, so little time.
A good hiking backpack
More cardigans and sweaters – it’s beautiful here but even if you’re from Michigan, your blood getting thinner and you just want to snuggle up in a sweater.
A map of Rwanda
I could go on for days…but you get the idea.
Advice to Future PCVs
Advice from the first 9 weeks
Computers:
Most of us fall into one of three categories. Those who did not bring a computer. Those who bought a cheap, light weight net book. And those in love with their Macs. I fall into the last category. Although my MacBook is large and heavy, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It is definitely a personal decision. Net books are inexpensive and easy to carry around. You can buy a CD drive to attach and an external hard drive if you want. The biggest perks about Macs in general is of course its exemption from the common virus. Viruses are a huge problem here. Using a public computer here (or even a Peace Corps computer) with your flash drive infects your flash drive which then infects your personal computer. People are leery to let you put your flash drive in anything of theirs. Something to think about…
Contact lenses:
Peace Corps tells you not to bring contacts and if you need glasses, to bring two pairs. They won’t yell at you if you bring your contacts, they just don’t endorse it and aren’t going to supply you with contact solution. I went back and forth on whether to bring my contacts and finally decided I couldn’t stand wearing glasses for two years. Especially when I think of that great raccoon sunburn you get around the eyes or how you can’t see when it rains. If you decide to do the same, you’ll need to get contact solution shipped to you. I found these great monthlies. You can leave them in your eyes, day and night, for 30 days. My eye doctor encouraged me to take them out once a week to clean them overnight. The biggest concern here is not that you’re sticking your dirty fingers in your eyeball; it’s actually the air quality. I’ve got two words for the Rwandan government – emissions control. Plus I’ve heard the dust gets fierce during the dry season. I haven’t lived through it yet so I can’t comment. I have noticed that when I go to Kigali my contacts get a little upset. I usually have to clean them shortly after because they get filmy and finicky. Other than that I’ve been pleasantly surprised with my new contacts. I highly recommend them.
Clothing:
Yes, most Rwandans dress conservatively. Kigali is always the exception. As a metropolis, the rules often change when referring to Kigali. For females, we were told to bring skirts, long ones. Some are opposed to wearing skirts and dresses all the time. The skirts don’t have to be to the ground. As long as your knees are covered you’re fine. Don’t show a ton of cleavage either, but tank tops are acceptable. You can wear jeans, sneakers, sweatshirts, almost everything you wear at home. If you’re concerned about clothes, don’t be. You’ll be able to buy stuff here. Most of the clothing in the market is second hand from America, I’m assuming. It’s not uncommon to find American Eagle, Gap clothing etc. Not to mention all the hilarious, random t-shirts and of course Obama on every type of clothing. I hope to make an Obama wardrobe while I’m here. My favorite Obama find so far has been a poster of rap/hip hop artists and Obama in the middle. He is a rock star!
Packing:
We all walk around during PST discussing our list of what we should have brought. In fact most of it we owned and they were the last few things that we pulled out of the bag before getting on the plane. Those of us whose luggage was underweight (mine was 30 lbs underweight in total) have nothing to brag about anymore. Sure we had an easier time traveling. And I was definitely frightened of the fact that I had to lug all that baggage around personally. But now I wish I had used every last pound. It is much more expensive to have things shipped later. Cram stuff in. The prize possessions I’m glad I brought:
Can opener
Vegetable peeler
Safety pins
Things I wish I had thrown in:
Perfume – indeed sometimes you’d like to smell good, even in Africa.
Duct tape
Spices and seasoning
A few good knifes to cut with
A bottle opener to stick on my keychain – so many Fantas to open, so little time.
A good hiking backpack
More cardigans and sweaters – it’s beautiful here but even if you’re from Michigan, your blood getting thinner and you just want to snuggle up in a sweater.
A map of Rwanda
I could go on for days…but you get the idea.
Computers:
Most of us fall into one of three categories. Those who did not bring a computer. Those who bought a cheap, light weight net book. And those in love with their Macs. I fall into the last category. Although my MacBook is large and heavy, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It is definitely a personal decision. Net books are inexpensive and easy to carry around. You can buy a CD drive to attach and an external hard drive if you want. The biggest perks about Macs in general is of course its exemption from the common virus. Viruses are a huge problem here. Using a public computer here (or even a Peace Corps computer) with your flash drive infects your flash drive which then infects your personal computer. People are leery to let you put your flash drive in anything of theirs. Something to think about…
Contact lenses:
Peace Corps tells you not to bring contacts and if you need glasses, to bring two pairs. They won’t yell at you if you bring your contacts, they just don’t endorse it and aren’t going to supply you with contact solution. I went back and forth on whether to bring my contacts and finally decided I couldn’t stand wearing glasses for two years. Especially when I think of that great raccoon sunburn you get around the eyes or how you can’t see when it rains. If you decide to do the same, you’ll need to get contact solution shipped to you. I found these great monthlies. You can leave them in your eyes, day and night, for 30 days. My eye doctor encouraged me to take them out once a week to clean them overnight. The biggest concern here is not that you’re sticking your dirty fingers in your eyeball; it’s actually the air quality. I’ve got two words for the Rwandan government – emissions control. Plus I’ve heard the dust gets fierce during the dry season. I haven’t lived through it yet so I can’t comment. I have noticed that when I go to Kigali my contacts get a little upset. I usually have to clean them shortly after because they get filmy and finicky. Other than that I’ve been pleasantly surprised with my new contacts. I highly recommend them.
Clothing:
Yes, most Rwandans dress conservatively. Kigali is always the exception. As a metropolis, the rules often change when referring to Kigali. For females, we were told to bring skirts, long ones. Some are opposed to wearing skirts and dresses all the time. The skirts don’t have to be to the ground. As long as your knees are covered you’re fine. Don’t show a ton of cleavage either, but tank tops are acceptable. You can wear jeans, sneakers, sweatshirts, almost everything you wear at home. If you’re concerned about clothes, don’t be. You’ll be able to buy stuff here. Most of the clothing in the market is second hand from America, I’m assuming. It’s not uncommon to find American Eagle, Gap clothing etc. Not to mention all the hilarious, random t-shirts and of course Obama on every type of clothing. I hope to make an Obama wardrobe while I’m here. My favorite Obama find so far has been a poster of rap/hip hop artists and Obama in the middle. He is a rock star!
Packing:
We all walk around during PST discussing our list of what we should have brought. In fact most of it we owned and they were the last few things that we pulled out of the bag before getting on the plane. Those of us whose luggage was underweight (mine was 30 lbs underweight in total) have nothing to brag about anymore. Sure we had an easier time traveling. And I was definitely frightened of the fact that I had to lug all that baggage around personally. But now I wish I had used every last pound. It is much more expensive to have things shipped later. Cram stuff in. The prize possessions I’m glad I brought:
Can opener
Vegetable peeler
Safety pins
Things I wish I had thrown in:
Perfume – indeed sometimes you’d like to smell good, even in Africa.
Duct tape
Spices and seasoning
A few good knifes to cut with
A bottle opener to stick on my keychain – so many Fantas to open, so little time.
A good hiking backpack
More cardigans and sweaters – it’s beautiful here but even if you’re from Michigan, your blood getting thinner and you just want to snuggle up in a sweater.
A map of Rwanda
I could go on for days…but you get the idea.
Malaria Fridays
Besides the numerous shots I had to have to come to Africa, I am only on one medication throughout my duration here. My prescription of choice is Mefloquine. It is for malaria. It only requires that you take it once a week. Since my first full day in Rwanda was on a Friday, that’s the schedule I’ve kept for taking the meds. The most common side effects are vivid, violent dreams, paranoia, anxiety, sleeplessness, and general crappy physical feelings. I have luckily not experienced any of these. In fact, I have a theory that Mefloqine actually raises my mood. It’s more of wishful thinking but I’ve been enjoying my lack of side effects. I could still contract malaria even while on medication but the severity of it would be much, much less. I can also still get side effects at some point in time.
I also use a mosquito net. It’s nailed to the ceiling above my bunk bed. Since I’m on the top bunk, I don’t have the claustrophobia of a net on the bottom bunk. As annoying as it may seem, you get used to using a net quickly and then it just becomes commonplace. Whenever I am tucking my net underneath my bed, I imagine I’ve built a little fort for myself. Maybe if more Rwandans built forts as children they wouldn’t be so bothered by using mosquito nets.
I also use a mosquito net. It’s nailed to the ceiling above my bunk bed. Since I’m on the top bunk, I don’t have the claustrophobia of a net on the bottom bunk. As annoying as it may seem, you get used to using a net quickly and then it just becomes commonplace. Whenever I am tucking my net underneath my bed, I imagine I’ve built a little fort for myself. Maybe if more Rwandans built forts as children they wouldn’t be so bothered by using mosquito nets.
Flash Problems
Well, I’ve had my first electronic tragedy in Africa. Today my flash drive decided it didn’t want to be recognized by my computer. I had to initialize it (which I never remember doing in the first place) and ended up having to erase everything on it. I don’t remember everything that was on there. Most of it was not too important, and the rest I’ll realize down the line when I’m looking for it.
Blog updates were lost so I will half-heartedly recreate them here. Highlights:
The PACA activity went really well. We taught hygiene practices to the tofu coop and they were really receptive. Even if they were lying to our faces, it felt productive.
I discovered two wonderful candy bars here: King Tat and Bravo. One is make in Oman, one in Turkey. King Tat is 100 times better than the Kit Kat that it’s modeled after. I may have bought about 10 candy bars in the last week. I’ll brush my teeth extra this week!
Things I will always be delighted to receive in a package:
Dark chocolate
Luna bars (any flavor but Smore)
Little notes of love and support
Books and random magazines
Truffles
Spices and seasoning
Movies and TV and music (in whatever form you can send it in)
Andes Mints
Dried fruit/Trail mix
No pressure to send anything!
Mail update: I have received several cards. They generally took 3-4 weeks to arrive. Thanks for sending them! It’s really nice to see people’s handwriting, somehow that’s comforting.
Blog updates were lost so I will half-heartedly recreate them here. Highlights:
The PACA activity went really well. We taught hygiene practices to the tofu coop and they were really receptive. Even if they were lying to our faces, it felt productive.
I discovered two wonderful candy bars here: King Tat and Bravo. One is make in Oman, one in Turkey. King Tat is 100 times better than the Kit Kat that it’s modeled after. I may have bought about 10 candy bars in the last week. I’ll brush my teeth extra this week!
Things I will always be delighted to receive in a package:
Dark chocolate
Luna bars (any flavor but Smore)
Little notes of love and support
Books and random magazines
Truffles
Spices and seasoning
Movies and TV and music (in whatever form you can send it in)
Andes Mints
Dried fruit/Trail mix
No pressure to send anything!
Mail update: I have received several cards. They generally took 3-4 weeks to arrive. Thanks for sending them! It’s really nice to see people’s handwriting, somehow that’s comforting.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Guteka
Guteka: to cook
I am ready to explode, in a good way. We have been forced to cook for ourselves a couple times this week and tonight was one of those nights. Cooking for 17 is no small feat, even in America. Add in charcoal stoves and shopping at Rwandan markets for food. We made sandwiches on French baguettes, toasted with garlic butter, topped with avocado slices, cheese, tomato and red onion. There was also a stir-fry with peanut sauce, carrots, celery, onions, green pepper, green beans and rice. Dessert was fruit salad made of bananas, pineapple, passion fruit, tree tomatoes and papaya. Plus Cadbury chocolate of course. It was delicious.
I am ready to explode, in a good way. We have been forced to cook for ourselves a couple times this week and tonight was one of those nights. Cooking for 17 is no small feat, even in America. Add in charcoal stoves and shopping at Rwandan markets for food. We made sandwiches on French baguettes, toasted with garlic butter, topped with avocado slices, cheese, tomato and red onion. There was also a stir-fry with peanut sauce, carrots, celery, onions, green pepper, green beans and rice. Dessert was fruit salad made of bananas, pineapple, passion fruit, tree tomatoes and papaya. Plus Cadbury chocolate of course. It was delicious.
The Tide Has Turned
Some of us may be still in the honeymoon in reference to being in Rwanda but we have certainly left it in reference to our relationships between each other. It took only seven short weeks to truly get on each other’s nerves. I am getting tired of the negativity. Some people have a visible cloud of negativity surrounding them, infecting the general splendor. Having a little more personal space would definitely help the situation. We are piled on top of each other for every moment of the day. Even phone call conversations can be overheard no matter where you are standing.
TOFU
I have discovered tofu in Rwanda! Well more importantly we were finally allowed to get into the community and work (on a very small scale). We were conducting a PACA activity – essentially assessing an organization in the community and giving them a small presentation. Today was just the assessment. To my surprise I assigned a cooperative in the area that processes tofu and soy milk. They were started back in 1997. Seven female farmers decided to start making tofu. There’s some great entrepreneurship! They have a partnership with three farming cooperative that harvest soy beans. They take the soy beans and process tofu and soy milk out of it. They sell to various markets as well as three cooperatives of individuals living with HIV/AIDS. They also teach these individuals how to make their own tofu so that they can sustain themselves. Tofu is less expensive than meat, plus more nutritious. Their main goal is better marketing that includes nutrition education. On a selfish note, I was excited to discover the store in my town that sells the tofu. I am also hoping that the cooperatives I work with at my job will be this organized, successful and interesting.
Posh Corps
I have heard through the grapevine that the PC Rwanda program has the nickname Posh Corps. I wholeheartedly agree. We are able to have cell phones, more importantly - with good service. We have internet readily available. The culture isn’t a drastic change. For that matter, the food isn’t either. Most of our sites have electricity and running water. There is nothing in Rwanda that is incredibly rural. In a country of 10 million people it is difficult to be isolated. Many in my group were disappointed that they wouldn’t be a ‘rural area’. Our definition of rural needs to be redefined though. Rural no longer means remote.
That being said, many people were placed in large cities. Sure this isn’t the ‘true Peace Corps experience’ but it comes with its own set of challenges. How do you integrate and bond with a community that large? How do you stay true to learning the native language when most people around you speak English? How do you affect change without being swallowed up by the crowd? Do you feel less special with so many Westerners around? How do you not spoil yourself with so many amenities readily available? Although I am not in a large city, I am only an hour outside the capital. This is definitely temptation in having so much free wireless internet, great food that reminds me of home, and the comfort of fellow volunteers so near. As with anything it’s about balance.
I am not disappointed in having the Posh Corps experience. I will still have no electricity and no running water. And let’s be real, I’m not incredibly hard core.
That being said, many people were placed in large cities. Sure this isn’t the ‘true Peace Corps experience’ but it comes with its own set of challenges. How do you integrate and bond with a community that large? How do you stay true to learning the native language when most people around you speak English? How do you affect change without being swallowed up by the crowd? Do you feel less special with so many Westerners around? How do you not spoil yourself with so many amenities readily available? Although I am not in a large city, I am only an hour outside the capital. This is definitely temptation in having so much free wireless internet, great food that reminds me of home, and the comfort of fellow volunteers so near. As with anything it’s about balance.
I am not disappointed in having the Posh Corps experience. I will still have no electricity and no running water. And let’s be real, I’m not incredibly hard core.
Genocide Memorial Week Part Deux
Have all the bodies been buried? When do survivors stop being survivors?
Two days ago I attended a conference for genocide memorial week. The week is packed with events. All week there are public speaking appearances of different officials for the community to attend. They are held at different levels of government. At night, vigils are held in public spaces. Individuals choose to spend the whole night around a fire with other members of the community, remembering, commemorating, grieving as a group.
Essentially the talk I was attending was the format of a town meeting. There were roughly 200 people in attendance. The speaker was the former Minister of Health. He wanted to get a sense of the growth that has happened in my town since last April. His main question to the community was – Have all the bodies been buried? How is a community supposed to heal and forgive if they have not discovered where the bodies of their loved ones are and been able to give them a proper burial? It’s been sixteen years and still people are left with no burial site. He went on to discuss various topics: family planning (which is a pertinent topic in this country), gender based violence, education.
Individuals from the community were allowed to speak. Instead of answering his questions they wanted to have their voice heard about very specific problems. One has a house that leaks. As a survivor she feels that the government should help her. Another wanted answers the fact that survivors were not being given the money to attend University. Supposedly benefits were being cut off – begging the question, when do survivors stop being survivors? And how much is the government’s responsibility to supplement? Another man felt that his accusations of specific Rwandans as genocidiares was not being taken seriously.
The response from the former Minister of Health was impressive from my perspective. He allowed the local government to have its appropriate role by telling the man with the list of names to speak to the mayor (also in attendance). He told the woman with the leaky house to have her neighbors help her. The last Saturday of every month is umuganda. Every Rwandan is legally bound to do community work, sort of like community beautification with a more practical purpose. Most spend the time taking care of their own yards and land and homes. Occasionally there are larger projects that the community coordinates to have a huge group of people participate in. For instance, the one umuganda that I participated in, there was a large field that needed to be hoed in order to plant. Machinery for farming here is rare. Picture over a thousand people in a field with hoes. I got a little farming lesson, no common language required. Getting back to the point, the woman’s house could become a neighborhood project.
The former Minister of Health pointed out that no one had answered his question. He stressed that bad politics were definitely a cause of the genocide but it was also the ideology perpetuated within the community. If parents continue to teach hatred within their own homes, we cannot combat the genocide ideology.
I am continuously shocked by the blunt statements made by government officials here. As a caveat – I am having everything translated for me so the actual words could be different but I guarantee the message is the same. The meeting had such a small town, intimate feeling. The relationship between citizen and government seems to be closer. I’ll see if my opinion changes as my time here goes on.
Yesterday, I attended the closing ceremony for genocide memorial week. It was held by the lake because this year was focused on commemorating deaths that happened in water. It was incredibly ominous to have a place that most trainees have used as a relaxing place be transformed into a place where bodies were dumped during the genocide. Nothing is as it seems here. There is always a history. The beauty of the country is overshadowed by the trauma that existed and continues to exist. Prayers were said, original poetry was spoken, original songs were performed. This closing ceremony was actually more jarring than the opening event. During the public talks throughout the week there is no crying or much emotion at all. It is more business. There are talks about economics and gacaca. This on the other hand was all about emotion. There were more outbursts from the crowd, and wailing persons being escorted away. Even more heartbreaking was watching the reactions of our language teachers. Specifically seeing a woman who has a tough exterior and is always goofy and joking, break down is heart wrenching. As I watched her (politely of course), her eyes were glazed over and I could tell she was watching old memories. Places she probably never wants to revisit. Today she decided to go back to visit her family and take a break from work. I hope she finds the comfort and reassurance that she needs. Family has that special power.
The image that will stay with me is this – individuals were invited to place flowers onto the lake in remembrance. For many this is the burial site of their loved ones. I’m assuming many bodies continue to lie on the bottom of the lake. People had brought wild flowers from wherever they could find them. Sometimes it would be a ragged little flower that they had carted miles to the ceremony. I hope this small symbol brought healing.
Two days ago I attended a conference for genocide memorial week. The week is packed with events. All week there are public speaking appearances of different officials for the community to attend. They are held at different levels of government. At night, vigils are held in public spaces. Individuals choose to spend the whole night around a fire with other members of the community, remembering, commemorating, grieving as a group.
Essentially the talk I was attending was the format of a town meeting. There were roughly 200 people in attendance. The speaker was the former Minister of Health. He wanted to get a sense of the growth that has happened in my town since last April. His main question to the community was – Have all the bodies been buried? How is a community supposed to heal and forgive if they have not discovered where the bodies of their loved ones are and been able to give them a proper burial? It’s been sixteen years and still people are left with no burial site. He went on to discuss various topics: family planning (which is a pertinent topic in this country), gender based violence, education.
Individuals from the community were allowed to speak. Instead of answering his questions they wanted to have their voice heard about very specific problems. One has a house that leaks. As a survivor she feels that the government should help her. Another wanted answers the fact that survivors were not being given the money to attend University. Supposedly benefits were being cut off – begging the question, when do survivors stop being survivors? And how much is the government’s responsibility to supplement? Another man felt that his accusations of specific Rwandans as genocidiares was not being taken seriously.
The response from the former Minister of Health was impressive from my perspective. He allowed the local government to have its appropriate role by telling the man with the list of names to speak to the mayor (also in attendance). He told the woman with the leaky house to have her neighbors help her. The last Saturday of every month is umuganda. Every Rwandan is legally bound to do community work, sort of like community beautification with a more practical purpose. Most spend the time taking care of their own yards and land and homes. Occasionally there are larger projects that the community coordinates to have a huge group of people participate in. For instance, the one umuganda that I participated in, there was a large field that needed to be hoed in order to plant. Machinery for farming here is rare. Picture over a thousand people in a field with hoes. I got a little farming lesson, no common language required. Getting back to the point, the woman’s house could become a neighborhood project.
The former Minister of Health pointed out that no one had answered his question. He stressed that bad politics were definitely a cause of the genocide but it was also the ideology perpetuated within the community. If parents continue to teach hatred within their own homes, we cannot combat the genocide ideology.
I am continuously shocked by the blunt statements made by government officials here. As a caveat – I am having everything translated for me so the actual words could be different but I guarantee the message is the same. The meeting had such a small town, intimate feeling. The relationship between citizen and government seems to be closer. I’ll see if my opinion changes as my time here goes on.
Yesterday, I attended the closing ceremony for genocide memorial week. It was held by the lake because this year was focused on commemorating deaths that happened in water. It was incredibly ominous to have a place that most trainees have used as a relaxing place be transformed into a place where bodies were dumped during the genocide. Nothing is as it seems here. There is always a history. The beauty of the country is overshadowed by the trauma that existed and continues to exist. Prayers were said, original poetry was spoken, original songs were performed. This closing ceremony was actually more jarring than the opening event. During the public talks throughout the week there is no crying or much emotion at all. It is more business. There are talks about economics and gacaca. This on the other hand was all about emotion. There were more outbursts from the crowd, and wailing persons being escorted away. Even more heartbreaking was watching the reactions of our language teachers. Specifically seeing a woman who has a tough exterior and is always goofy and joking, break down is heart wrenching. As I watched her (politely of course), her eyes were glazed over and I could tell she was watching old memories. Places she probably never wants to revisit. Today she decided to go back to visit her family and take a break from work. I hope she finds the comfort and reassurance that she needs. Family has that special power.
The image that will stay with me is this – individuals were invited to place flowers onto the lake in remembrance. For many this is the burial site of their loved ones. I’m assuming many bodies continue to lie on the bottom of the lake. People had brought wild flowers from wherever they could find them. Sometimes it would be a ragged little flower that they had carted miles to the ceremony. I hope this small symbol brought healing.
Departures
Today is a somber one. One of my fellow trainees announced that she is deciding to go home, that Peace Corps is not the right choice for her. This will be our second person to leave – the first was for medical reasons and not by choice. It is depressing to have group members leave because you want to think that as a group you can persist. We wanted to be the first group to have no one leave – which is impossible. As much as we’d like to think that we can completely support ourselves as a group unit, we can not control external factors. Everyone has very different personal lives, factors at home, expectations, needs, fit. In the end everyone must do what is right for them.
I am proud that she is honest enough with herself to know that this is not a good fit. Coupled with the honesty, she is strong enough to start yet another life changing transition. I cannot even begin to imagine what goes through your head when trying to make that decision.
I feel incredibly invested here already, with the community and with the relationships amongst trainees. My American life seems a universe away. Plus even though I’ve only been gone for six weeks the time lapse seems longer. If I were to return home I would be lost. Already so much as happened that has changed ‘home’ for me. Personally as well I have grown and been stretched in such a short period.
I have to constantly remind myself that not everyone is enjoying training as much as I am. People are craving American food, missing family and friends, struggling to get used to the culture and being stared at 24 hours a day. On the flip side of the spectrum when my training manager asked me if I thought Peace Corps was the right decision for me, I thought it was an absurd question. OF COURSE IT IS and continues to be! I forgot that others would be constantly reevaluating their decision, weighing the pros and cons, suffering the low point of the emotional roller coaster. The initial excitement is wearing off for some. Especially now that we have visited our sites, most are ready to be done with training and get to work. I’m trying to enjoy every moment – really soaking up the fun and camaraderie. Of course that means my studying of Ikinyarwandan has been suffering. There’s always someone to talk to, hang out with, watch a movie with. Sensory overload! It feels like living in the dorms all over again. Studying is definitely second priority although I will inevitably kick myself for this once I get to site.
Getting back on topic – We are having a second departure from our group as well. One of our language teachers, Abel, is leaving for graduate school. I haven’t mentioned our language teachers much. They are amazing people. Most are in their 20s or 30s (it’s always hard to tell!). They come from a variety of work, family and education backgrounds. Some were translators, school teachers, students. Some are married with children, while others are single. They are essentially our camp counselors. They are on the job 24 hours a day, God bless them! They are so much more than language instructors. They help us understand the culture, answer personal questions, let us hang out with them and show us good restaurants to eat at. Any statement about their patience and talent would be an understatement.
Abel is moving to South Africa to get a master’s in Development Management. In 20 months he will be graduating – counting a four month internship in Germany. He will have classmates from all over Africa, Mexico, Brazil, etc. I wish I could witness one of their debates on development – what amazing personal accounts and perspectives they would have to offer each other. Abel is packing up his life in the next couple weeks and moving to a country that he’s never been to before. We are finally able to share something in common with him – life changing decisions, uncertainty, leaving everything that’s familiar.
I am proud that she is honest enough with herself to know that this is not a good fit. Coupled with the honesty, she is strong enough to start yet another life changing transition. I cannot even begin to imagine what goes through your head when trying to make that decision.
I feel incredibly invested here already, with the community and with the relationships amongst trainees. My American life seems a universe away. Plus even though I’ve only been gone for six weeks the time lapse seems longer. If I were to return home I would be lost. Already so much as happened that has changed ‘home’ for me. Personally as well I have grown and been stretched in such a short period.
I have to constantly remind myself that not everyone is enjoying training as much as I am. People are craving American food, missing family and friends, struggling to get used to the culture and being stared at 24 hours a day. On the flip side of the spectrum when my training manager asked me if I thought Peace Corps was the right decision for me, I thought it was an absurd question. OF COURSE IT IS and continues to be! I forgot that others would be constantly reevaluating their decision, weighing the pros and cons, suffering the low point of the emotional roller coaster. The initial excitement is wearing off for some. Especially now that we have visited our sites, most are ready to be done with training and get to work. I’m trying to enjoy every moment – really soaking up the fun and camaraderie. Of course that means my studying of Ikinyarwandan has been suffering. There’s always someone to talk to, hang out with, watch a movie with. Sensory overload! It feels like living in the dorms all over again. Studying is definitely second priority although I will inevitably kick myself for this once I get to site.
Getting back on topic – We are having a second departure from our group as well. One of our language teachers, Abel, is leaving for graduate school. I haven’t mentioned our language teachers much. They are amazing people. Most are in their 20s or 30s (it’s always hard to tell!). They come from a variety of work, family and education backgrounds. Some were translators, school teachers, students. Some are married with children, while others are single. They are essentially our camp counselors. They are on the job 24 hours a day, God bless them! They are so much more than language instructors. They help us understand the culture, answer personal questions, let us hang out with them and show us good restaurants to eat at. Any statement about their patience and talent would be an understatement.
Abel is moving to South Africa to get a master’s in Development Management. In 20 months he will be graduating – counting a four month internship in Germany. He will have classmates from all over Africa, Mexico, Brazil, etc. I wish I could witness one of their debates on development – what amazing personal accounts and perspectives they would have to offer each other. Abel is packing up his life in the next couple weeks and moving to a country that he’s never been to before. We are finally able to share something in common with him – life changing decisions, uncertainty, leaving everything that’s familiar.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Food
Let’s talk about food because as most of you know it’s what makes my world go round. The food here is not atrocious. I don’t eat much of the meat but I didn’t really eat much meat back in the US either. I’m pretty sure I’ve eaten goat, chicken, possibly rabbit and cow here. There is a very direct path from field to plate. We can generally hear the animals and then know what’s for lunch. (Sorry vegetarians!) At one point someone order brochettes at a local restaurant. Brochettes are like goat kabobs. After while a child exited the restaurant and came back dragging a goat behind him. A few minutes later he left with just the leash in his hand. There is really no way of ignoring the fact that you are eating a dead animal. The freezer section at Meijer is a thing of the past.
As predicted there is a lot of bananas, but not as many as I imagined. The fruit here is delicious, although not as varied as I would like. We are mainly served bananas, tree tomatoes (I don’t know if that is a common term that people will know), passion fruit, and pineapple.
They love to fry everything : potatoes, plantains, fish, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes.
So typical day of meals goes something like this:
Breakfast – egg omelet with onions, bread, butter, fruit, tea, coffee
Snack – tea, coffee, sambosas or chipati
Lunch – chicken, greens, pineapple, fried potatoes
Dinner – white rice, black beans, tomato sauce that they put on top of everything, more fruit
The last group of volunteers taught the cooks how to make guacamole and meatballs (at separate meals of course) and we are loving it. Guacamole nights are the crowd favorite. We gorge ourselves with rice, beans and guac and inevitably feel like crap. Now we are trying to think of new ‘American’ recipes to pass along so the next group can enjoy.
There are cookies here – although some of them taste like chocolate graham crackers, others just taste horrible. There are also potato chips – barbecue flavor or Pringles. The food really isn’t exotic. They give us peanut butter and jelly, honey, hot sauce. Within the capital you can find almost anything – ice cream, the best Indian food I’ve ever eaten, buttermilk pancakes, Heinz ketchup, syrup – the stuff dreams are made of.
Generally about 80% of our time is spent dreaming about food. One person starts it off with just a word – Oreos. It snowballs from there – sushi, curry, seaweed salad, Olive Garden breadsticks, McDonald’s, fourth meal, real pizza, brownies. Pretty soon we are torturing each other with words. It’s not like we are being deprived, in fact we are all impressed with how wonderful our food is. But get us going and we are like kids sitting around at fat camp – at least that’s what my housemate Jen tells us, as a former fat camp counselor.
Although I don’t see myself being this ambitious, other volunteers have figured out how to construct an oven over a charcoal grill. They have made cakes, bread, brownies, cupcakes, and tiramisu. I’ll just be happy to boil water for noodles.
I have become even more addicted to tea than I was in the States. First of all they drink it multiple times a day. Secondly, ‘African tea’ is delicious and a great source of calcium. African tea is practically chai tea. I’ll try and tell you the recipe that I’ve created with my limited experience. By the way we use powdered milk here so – three heaping scoops of powdered milk (yes, it will look like you are only drinking hot milk), two and a half scoops of sugar, then mix in the hot water. Finally put in the black tea bag, but not for too long. It is delicious. I’ve begun dipping my chipati bread in it – to die for.
I am by no means staving. In fact our medical officer told us that in all her years of working in the Peace Corps she has never seen a female lose weight during their service, or a male gain weight. I don’t think it’s that black and white but I can definitely see the validity of the point. Although we may be eating less than at home, our diets are also not as balanced. It’s a struggle to get enough produce, protein, calcium, you name it. People generally live off rice and beans.
Kitchen gardens are a big push around here with the government actually mandating that people have them by a certain date. Kitchen gardens are basically a very small garden that most people can fit in their yard that will provide enough produce for one household. In the middle is a compost pile. It renews the nutrients in the garden as you rotate the crops around. Most volunteers build one for themselves as well as get initiatives going for people in their community to build them at their houses. Malnutrition is a huge problem here, especially for young children or people living with HIV/AIDS.
Which reminds me, if anyone would like to mail me seeds, feel free. I’m hoping to grow tomatoes, cucumbers, sweet corn, bell peppers (anything but green), basil, cilantro, parsley and mint -plus anything else I can think of.
I’ve already seen my future house and I have just enough room in my front yard for a kitchen garden.
As predicted there is a lot of bananas, but not as many as I imagined. The fruit here is delicious, although not as varied as I would like. We are mainly served bananas, tree tomatoes (I don’t know if that is a common term that people will know), passion fruit, and pineapple.
They love to fry everything : potatoes, plantains, fish, potatoes, potatoes, potatoes.
So typical day of meals goes something like this:
Breakfast – egg omelet with onions, bread, butter, fruit, tea, coffee
Snack – tea, coffee, sambosas or chipati
Lunch – chicken, greens, pineapple, fried potatoes
Dinner – white rice, black beans, tomato sauce that they put on top of everything, more fruit
The last group of volunteers taught the cooks how to make guacamole and meatballs (at separate meals of course) and we are loving it. Guacamole nights are the crowd favorite. We gorge ourselves with rice, beans and guac and inevitably feel like crap. Now we are trying to think of new ‘American’ recipes to pass along so the next group can enjoy.
There are cookies here – although some of them taste like chocolate graham crackers, others just taste horrible. There are also potato chips – barbecue flavor or Pringles. The food really isn’t exotic. They give us peanut butter and jelly, honey, hot sauce. Within the capital you can find almost anything – ice cream, the best Indian food I’ve ever eaten, buttermilk pancakes, Heinz ketchup, syrup – the stuff dreams are made of.
Generally about 80% of our time is spent dreaming about food. One person starts it off with just a word – Oreos. It snowballs from there – sushi, curry, seaweed salad, Olive Garden breadsticks, McDonald’s, fourth meal, real pizza, brownies. Pretty soon we are torturing each other with words. It’s not like we are being deprived, in fact we are all impressed with how wonderful our food is. But get us going and we are like kids sitting around at fat camp – at least that’s what my housemate Jen tells us, as a former fat camp counselor.
Although I don’t see myself being this ambitious, other volunteers have figured out how to construct an oven over a charcoal grill. They have made cakes, bread, brownies, cupcakes, and tiramisu. I’ll just be happy to boil water for noodles.
I have become even more addicted to tea than I was in the States. First of all they drink it multiple times a day. Secondly, ‘African tea’ is delicious and a great source of calcium. African tea is practically chai tea. I’ll try and tell you the recipe that I’ve created with my limited experience. By the way we use powdered milk here so – three heaping scoops of powdered milk (yes, it will look like you are only drinking hot milk), two and a half scoops of sugar, then mix in the hot water. Finally put in the black tea bag, but not for too long. It is delicious. I’ve begun dipping my chipati bread in it – to die for.
I am by no means staving. In fact our medical officer told us that in all her years of working in the Peace Corps she has never seen a female lose weight during their service, or a male gain weight. I don’t think it’s that black and white but I can definitely see the validity of the point. Although we may be eating less than at home, our diets are also not as balanced. It’s a struggle to get enough produce, protein, calcium, you name it. People generally live off rice and beans.
Kitchen gardens are a big push around here with the government actually mandating that people have them by a certain date. Kitchen gardens are basically a very small garden that most people can fit in their yard that will provide enough produce for one household. In the middle is a compost pile. It renews the nutrients in the garden as you rotate the crops around. Most volunteers build one for themselves as well as get initiatives going for people in their community to build them at their houses. Malnutrition is a huge problem here, especially for young children or people living with HIV/AIDS.
Which reminds me, if anyone would like to mail me seeds, feel free. I’m hoping to grow tomatoes, cucumbers, sweet corn, bell peppers (anything but green), basil, cilantro, parsley and mint -plus anything else I can think of.
I’ve already seen my future house and I have just enough room in my front yard for a kitchen garden.
Site Placement
Sorry for really building the anticipation on this one. I fully intended to divulge all the details last week. First things first, I am convinced that I have the very best site in Rwanda. I’ve been so blessed/spoiled, depending on which way you want to look at it. I am placed an hour outside of the capital. Kigali is the mecca of all things wonderful. Although it is quite intimidating as a city, it also contains the airport, fabulous restaurants, many other lovely volunteers to visit and the Peace Corps office – where all my mail arrives at and free internet came be obtained. …although an hour makes a world of difference. My small village has no electricity or running water. My office is located inside a hospital – which is run off generators. The village is essentially made up of hospital staff and school children. There is a hospital, a health center, a secondary boarding school that houses about 900 students!, a public secondary school, a vocational school and a couple primary schools. I’m convinced that if the children wanted to revolt and take power they could overthrow the whole town.
There is already a current health volunteer in my village, Edison. I get to expand on the connections he’s made and the projects that have already begun. My work can be divided into three categories: working with local cooperatives, working on random projects within the hospital, teaching English. The secondary school has an English club that they are very excited about. There are also hospital staff members that are interested in learning English.
I will explain cooperatives in a later post but first let me expand on the health care system. There is a hierarchy to the medical attention you can receive. Every umudugudu (neighborhood) has a community health worker who volunteers for the position. They are responsible for educating their community about vaccines, best hygiene practices, new health policies, etc. Then there are clinics. Health clinics can be as small as three rooms, staffed by one nurse. The next level up is a health center. You must start at the lowest level and be referred up if necessary. Patients do not automatically enter a hospital. They have to be referred from a health center. As you move up the ladder there are less and less. Each district generally has one hospital. If the district hospital can not support your needs, you will be referred to the national hospital in Kigali.
My hospital happens to employ one of the very few mental health nurses in the country. What are the chances! I will be able to see patients with her and do educational sessions at health centers. Posttraumatic stress disorder afflicts a huge percentage of the population. I’m excited to learn more and help out where I can. Counseling is not widely accepted here. It will be interesting to see where structure and services can be offered and if I can covertly set up support groups ☺ If anyone has resources they like to send or email, please do. Knowledge is power after all.
Getting back to the plain facts about my site – I will have a house! I was staying at the hospital guesthouse during my visit but toured my future house. It has four bedrooms, which is a little ridiculous for a single person. The bedrooms are about the size of a laundry room or half bath. I have a kitchen area and a living room. I swear there is a vaulted ceiling so you’ll just have to take my word for it. The backyard will have an outdoor kitchen for my wood or charcoal stove, a showering room, my latrine and a stone path. I have a front gate and a porch and a tiny front yard. In case you can’t tell, I’m excited! My water source is ridiculously close to my house, another blessing. They are currently wiring my house. Some rich people choose to have a generator at their house. I won’t be one of these people. Although I did hear the rumor that electricity is supposed to be coming in August. I’m not holding my breath, but I did witness the electrical towers being build along the road from Kigali. At the very least I will live for two months with no power. I’ll be very curious to see how the village life changes once people have electricity. Will a nightlife be created? Or will everyone just go to bed when the sun sets anyway? Most of the hospital staff commutes from Kigali anyhow. They don’t understand why anyone would choose to live in the village when a metropolis is so close. Edison had to explain what ‘being one with the community’ means.
This is a random side note but I just wanted to mention the one in a million places you find Michigan State alumni. We had a few returned Peace Corps volunteers (RPCVs) visit us yesterday. Two were a married couple who had served in Ghana a few years ago. She now works for the State Department through the US Embassy in Kigali. He works for USAID in Agriculture. And they just happened to be MSU alum. It was wonderful to find more Michiganders in Rwanda. Go Green!
There is already a current health volunteer in my village, Edison. I get to expand on the connections he’s made and the projects that have already begun. My work can be divided into three categories: working with local cooperatives, working on random projects within the hospital, teaching English. The secondary school has an English club that they are very excited about. There are also hospital staff members that are interested in learning English.
I will explain cooperatives in a later post but first let me expand on the health care system. There is a hierarchy to the medical attention you can receive. Every umudugudu (neighborhood) has a community health worker who volunteers for the position. They are responsible for educating their community about vaccines, best hygiene practices, new health policies, etc. Then there are clinics. Health clinics can be as small as three rooms, staffed by one nurse. The next level up is a health center. You must start at the lowest level and be referred up if necessary. Patients do not automatically enter a hospital. They have to be referred from a health center. As you move up the ladder there are less and less. Each district generally has one hospital. If the district hospital can not support your needs, you will be referred to the national hospital in Kigali.
My hospital happens to employ one of the very few mental health nurses in the country. What are the chances! I will be able to see patients with her and do educational sessions at health centers. Posttraumatic stress disorder afflicts a huge percentage of the population. I’m excited to learn more and help out where I can. Counseling is not widely accepted here. It will be interesting to see where structure and services can be offered and if I can covertly set up support groups ☺ If anyone has resources they like to send or email, please do. Knowledge is power after all.
Getting back to the plain facts about my site – I will have a house! I was staying at the hospital guesthouse during my visit but toured my future house. It has four bedrooms, which is a little ridiculous for a single person. The bedrooms are about the size of a laundry room or half bath. I have a kitchen area and a living room. I swear there is a vaulted ceiling so you’ll just have to take my word for it. The backyard will have an outdoor kitchen for my wood or charcoal stove, a showering room, my latrine and a stone path. I have a front gate and a porch and a tiny front yard. In case you can’t tell, I’m excited! My water source is ridiculously close to my house, another blessing. They are currently wiring my house. Some rich people choose to have a generator at their house. I won’t be one of these people. Although I did hear the rumor that electricity is supposed to be coming in August. I’m not holding my breath, but I did witness the electrical towers being build along the road from Kigali. At the very least I will live for two months with no power. I’ll be very curious to see how the village life changes once people have electricity. Will a nightlife be created? Or will everyone just go to bed when the sun sets anyway? Most of the hospital staff commutes from Kigali anyhow. They don’t understand why anyone would choose to live in the village when a metropolis is so close. Edison had to explain what ‘being one with the community’ means.
This is a random side note but I just wanted to mention the one in a million places you find Michigan State alumni. We had a few returned Peace Corps volunteers (RPCVs) visit us yesterday. Two were a married couple who had served in Ghana a few years ago. She now works for the State Department through the US Embassy in Kigali. He works for USAID in Agriculture. And they just happened to be MSU alum. It was wonderful to find more Michiganders in Rwanda. Go Green!
Genocide Memorial Week
Today begins genocide memorial week. The nation as a whole mourns and commemorates the lives lost during the genocide. This is especially intriguing to me based on all the grief counseling that I’ve done. We were warned that businesses and restaurants would only be open limited hours during this week. There are many events: at the national, district, and umdugudu (neighborhood) level. This morning we walked to the outskirts of our town and joined up with a very large group of people marching to the stadium. We have a one soccer stadium in town. It is equivalent to a high school football field, minus one side of bleachers. However the cement ‘bleachers’ they do have, has a roof – definite plus. We paraded in a group of a few hundred behind a banner in their national color of morning – a deep purple, the color that is traditionally used in churches. First we stopped at the cemetery/genocide memorial on the side of the field. Words were said and wreaths and flowers were placed on graves. Then we sat or stood listening to the testimony of victims, the words of local officials, and finally a radio broadcast from President Kagame. Each speech was followed by a song. For the most part, I had no idea what was being said since I am not skilled in Ikinyarwandan yet; instead I watched the faces and body language of the Rwandans. They are reserved as a nation in general. There was silence and solemnity. A few people exploded with emotion. The floodgates opened and they wailed with sobs. As soon as the crying began others would rush over to them and lead them away from the crowd – at times needing to carry them. I’m not sure whether it was to afford the person privacy or to stop everyone else from feeling the discomfort of witnessing blatant pain. I don’t think I’ll ever know the answer.
What is most interesting about this week is the mandatory events. The government declares no school and no businesses to operate (for the most part). Everyone is expected to participate in events to commemorate. Each year the population is forced to stop and remember. It has only been sixteen years since the genocide. Each and every person has experienced a loss, if not the loss of their entire family.
This week a Peace Corps staff member decided to give us her testimony – telling us her personal story. After the genocide she decided to count the number of people she had lost. Including family and friends (only the ones she was close enough to remember the names of) she had 65 people die. She is lucky enough to have surviving siblings but many are the sole survivors of their families.
Now imagine an entire nation, millions of people, most of whom are suffering from post traumatic stress disorder, commemorating for an entire week every year. There are mixed feelings about whether this is healthy or is actually holding the country back from looking towards the future. Also given that the perpetrator to victim percentage of the population was about 80% to 20% - it makes you wonder who is being forced to grieve. Do individuals who killed others show up to commemorate the genocide? Do they do it as repentance? Do they do it to put on a show? Will they ever ask forgiveness? Questions I will probably never know the answers to. I am witnessing a very private process for this country and honestly shouldn’t even be speaking these questions aloud. It’s not my right to know the intimate details. It’s not their duty to show the world. If they can find forgiveness or even speak of hope as they do, I applaud them.
*I will explain the Rwandan gacaca court system at a later time- when I have a more complete picture.
What is most interesting about this week is the mandatory events. The government declares no school and no businesses to operate (for the most part). Everyone is expected to participate in events to commemorate. Each year the population is forced to stop and remember. It has only been sixteen years since the genocide. Each and every person has experienced a loss, if not the loss of their entire family.
This week a Peace Corps staff member decided to give us her testimony – telling us her personal story. After the genocide she decided to count the number of people she had lost. Including family and friends (only the ones she was close enough to remember the names of) she had 65 people die. She is lucky enough to have surviving siblings but many are the sole survivors of their families.
Now imagine an entire nation, millions of people, most of whom are suffering from post traumatic stress disorder, commemorating for an entire week every year. There are mixed feelings about whether this is healthy or is actually holding the country back from looking towards the future. Also given that the perpetrator to victim percentage of the population was about 80% to 20% - it makes you wonder who is being forced to grieve. Do individuals who killed others show up to commemorate the genocide? Do they do it as repentance? Do they do it to put on a show? Will they ever ask forgiveness? Questions I will probably never know the answers to. I am witnessing a very private process for this country and honestly shouldn’t even be speaking these questions aloud. It’s not my right to know the intimate details. It’s not their duty to show the world. If they can find forgiveness or even speak of hope as they do, I applaud them.
*I will explain the Rwandan gacaca court system at a later time- when I have a more complete picture.
Group Dynamics
In the Peace Corps you live in a cocoon with no television. Your personal lives become your only source of entertainment. It’s a bit like being in middle school. If you happen to be the happy recipient of the attention, it’s like living under a magnifying glass. We live together, go to school together, eat together. There is barely a moment in the day when pure privacy can be achieved. Hence, the rumors and gossip are traveling faster than the speed of light. It begins to wear you down, especially if your social life is not nearly as exciting as the gossip portrays it to be. Sadly I’ve been feeling the stress of gossip. Yesterday was a bit overwhelming in general. Our safety and security officer gave the testimony of her experiences in the genocide and after. It began our commemoration of genocide memorial week, which starts on Wednesday. I was very grateful to hear her story and am definitely no stranger to hearing a heart wrenching story, but I also need time to process everything and sit in silence or paint – both of those things, nearly impossible here. I am also coming back from my site visit, which afforded me ample alone time every day. In fact I almost finished reading a book in the span of a couple days because of the absolute silence I had there. Being forced back into a group setting 24/7 is a hard readjustment.
That all being said, I really do love my group. We are a bunch of dorks who watch Planet Earth together. It’s like I’ve found my people ☺
That all being said, I really do love my group. We are a bunch of dorks who watch Planet Earth together. It’s like I’ve found my people ☺
Easter Sunday
I just got off the phone from my Easter Sunday call from home. In rapid-fire fashion I spoke to about half my extended family in 10 minutes flat. It felt like a big hug and I went to bed with a smile on my face. I am blessed to have so much support and love and interest in my life.
The Peace Corps isn’t just about me coming to a new place and transferring skills, making sustainable projects, and integrating. A huge goal is to bring your destination back to the people at home - to facilitate that cultural exchange, to be a personal contact to a world so far away. Thanks for taking interest in what I’m doing and coming along for the ride. It’s going to be a crazy one!
*For those of you who want to talk with me for hours and don’t mind paying for it, I recommend a couple different methods –
1. Skype (Google it if you don’t know about it). You will be able to buy credit and call my cell phone number.
2. There are also international phone plans that make the phone call a lot cheaper. For details on that one, ask my mom (I’m assuming you know my mom, if not, sorry!)
Remember the 6 hour time difference and the fact that I’m in class a lot – but we can email to set up a phone date.
Also feel free to send me emails. I promise your life isn’t boring! I really want to hear about it and I’ll respond at some point (fairly consistently I might add – until May).
The Peace Corps isn’t just about me coming to a new place and transferring skills, making sustainable projects, and integrating. A huge goal is to bring your destination back to the people at home - to facilitate that cultural exchange, to be a personal contact to a world so far away. Thanks for taking interest in what I’m doing and coming along for the ride. It’s going to be a crazy one!
*For those of you who want to talk with me for hours and don’t mind paying for it, I recommend a couple different methods –
1. Skype (Google it if you don’t know about it). You will be able to buy credit and call my cell phone number.
2. There are also international phone plans that make the phone call a lot cheaper. For details on that one, ask my mom (I’m assuming you know my mom, if not, sorry!)
Remember the 6 hour time difference and the fact that I’m in class a lot – but we can email to set up a phone date.
Also feel free to send me emails. I promise your life isn’t boring! I really want to hear about it and I’ll respond at some point (fairly consistently I might add – until May).
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Emotional Roller Coaster and Question Box
My next two years are going to be an intense emotional roller coaster. I want to warn all of you right now. I am incredibly happy at the moment but everyone who does Study Abroad, or the Peace Corps, or other experiences that stretch them, take them to new places and replaces all the familiar things in their lives go through these ups and downs. I am forewarning that I will not hide my moments of doubt and depression on this blog. That also doesn’t mean that I’m going to run home as soon as I’m afraid or struggling or doubting myself. I want to give a realistic view of what my life really is, without sugar coating it. Generally people start feeling home sick somewhere in the first two months, again when they move to site and definitely right around the year mark. It’s not set in stone but there is a pattern to our group highs and lows. Half the battle is understanding what is normal to feel and understanding that you aren’t alone. So I’m watching out for my first moments of doubt…
I also want everyone to recognize that this blog is mine alone. I am just one person, with one perspective, having a very specific experience. By no means do I want you to think I represent the complete Peace Corps experience or that my opinions are fact here. I am living in one part of Rwanda with my own biases, my own background, my own emotional triggers. That being said, I’d like to share what I can with all of you and make this blog a two way conversation (or should I say a 50 way conversation ☺). If you have questions you’d like me to answer, post a comment. Or email me and I’ll try to address them for everyone to hear the answer. I might hang onto them until I feel that I can answer them more fully, but I will definitely try. No question is too stupid or too personal to ask. When else are you going to know someone living in Rwanda!
I also want everyone to recognize that this blog is mine alone. I am just one person, with one perspective, having a very specific experience. By no means do I want you to think I represent the complete Peace Corps experience or that my opinions are fact here. I am living in one part of Rwanda with my own biases, my own background, my own emotional triggers. That being said, I’d like to share what I can with all of you and make this blog a two way conversation (or should I say a 50 way conversation ☺). If you have questions you’d like me to answer, post a comment. Or email me and I’ll try to address them for everyone to hear the answer. I might hang onto them until I feel that I can answer them more fully, but I will definitely try. No question is too stupid or too personal to ask. When else are you going to know someone living in Rwanda!
Mail and Time Travel
Hi Blog Readers,
I have lots of news. I know it’s stupid but I’m going to post multiple stories in one day just to organize my thoughts. My updates about site will be at the end. First of all, happy Easter! Eat Cadbury chocolate and think of me…I bought my own Cadbury yesterday to enjoy today. I can’t believe it’s Easter already. I have a new theory that time moves differently on different continents. When in the US, time flew by. I was working like a maniac, volunteering, taking classes part time, watching mindless TV the rest of the time. Weeks, months and years would fly by without me noticing. Now that I’m in Rwanda I feel like my ‘normal, American’ life has come to a stand still. I don’t see myself living in the same universe anymore. Everything here is so foreign that I don’t try to reconcile the two worlds. I just let them be separate entities that I exist in. I have been in Rwanda for over a month and time has both moved incredibly slowly and at the speed of light. I recognize that this is making no sense. Maybe I’ll be able to describe it better in the future.
Speaking of my two worlds coming together, I received my first two pieces of mail. THANKS to those of you who sent it! It’s always fun getting mail and feeling a little boost of inspiration. I may have had in incredibly hormonal moment and cried while opening it…it was nice to feel supported and loved. In response to ‘How long did it take to get there?’ – the cards were sent on March 2 & 3rd (approximately) and they arrived at the Kigali post office on the 24th and 26th (approximately). Not too bad. I have yet to receive any of the boxes that I know are on the way so I’m interested to see if those take much longer to arrive. I’ll let you know when I find out.
I have lots of news. I know it’s stupid but I’m going to post multiple stories in one day just to organize my thoughts. My updates about site will be at the end. First of all, happy Easter! Eat Cadbury chocolate and think of me…I bought my own Cadbury yesterday to enjoy today. I can’t believe it’s Easter already. I have a new theory that time moves differently on different continents. When in the US, time flew by. I was working like a maniac, volunteering, taking classes part time, watching mindless TV the rest of the time. Weeks, months and years would fly by without me noticing. Now that I’m in Rwanda I feel like my ‘normal, American’ life has come to a stand still. I don’t see myself living in the same universe anymore. Everything here is so foreign that I don’t try to reconcile the two worlds. I just let them be separate entities that I exist in. I have been in Rwanda for over a month and time has both moved incredibly slowly and at the speed of light. I recognize that this is making no sense. Maybe I’ll be able to describe it better in the future.
Speaking of my two worlds coming together, I received my first two pieces of mail. THANKS to those of you who sent it! It’s always fun getting mail and feeling a little boost of inspiration. I may have had in incredibly hormonal moment and cried while opening it…it was nice to feel supported and loved. In response to ‘How long did it take to get there?’ – the cards were sent on March 2 & 3rd (approximately) and they arrived at the Kigali post office on the 24th and 26th (approximately). Not too bad. I have yet to receive any of the boxes that I know are on the way so I’m interested to see if those take much longer to arrive. I’ll let you know when I find out.
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