Day Nine

Meandered my way back to work after enjoying some internet and electricity. It was nice to see friends but I missed my own bed and my own house. Site has already become a comforting place. Compared to Kigali it really is a country retreat.

Showed up at the guesthouse and found myself a spectator of the meeting of the minds – all the bigwigs of EPR. Trying to blend into the wall since it’s now even like I can effectively eavesdrop since they are speaking French.

I am exhausted again. Part too much sun, too little water, sharing a twin mattress with Kerry last night since we both crashed at Anna’s, going to bed later than usual and having my body still wake me up at 5am hour. I also feel like I must be “on” all the time. I can’t be sleepy and rude to people because you never know who you are meeting or riding the bus with and you are always being scrutinized.

I’ve been pondering so many things as I spend day after day in Rwanda. I wish I could read so much more about the social, economic and political factors in Rwanda and Africa as a whole. But what I do have above the scholars and theorizers is the fact that I’m here. Everyone looks to the US as the goal destination, the golden land. It is a prize to be had, a life to emulate. I wish more Rwandans wanted to be Rwandan. I wish the youth would see their future here and the change they could create here. I don’t want them to put a drain on Rwanda’s talent by leaving. Beyond talent, there is the topic of culture. I remember in college having the debate that Americans did not have a distinct culture like the unique heritages we originated from. We had a lack of rich, prideful tradition and yet the world is somehow emulating our style. Is this tainting them? Should we be able to keep everyone in their own microcosm of behavior? Globalization makes that impossible, yet it is not appropriate to put American behavior on a pedestal. At some point wealth and power made us the cool kids in school that everyone copies like mindless clones. Success is not reached through one single, narrow path. As business practices and the bureaucracy of politics seeps into the mindset of people, the behavior modification begins. Of course all tradition should not be idealized and unchanged. But to lose one’s character is to lose oneself. I am not a cheerleader for the American way of life and I cringe at it spreading. Now I will step off my own pedestal and let you all comment if you’d like.

Looks like I will be traveling to the north for a four day training next week. So much for staying at site a solid 30 days. Our program is just launching so meetings and trainings are numerous.

Oh quickly a day turns. Every day is completely flexible and you should never have expectations. I left lunch feeling slightly morose. I went to the AIDS treatment office to observe. I sat for awhile waiting and then found out they would not be coming until the next morning. Nothing is ever a waste of time. You just have to flow with the day. I ended up meeting a lab tech who spoke English. I asked if I could hang out with him for the afternoon because my supervisor was ill and what do you know I got to observe the lab for hours. It was the 1st time I truly relaxed with Rwandans. The lab techs could speak English well enough to joke around – humor is always the truest test of fluency. We joked about me being single and wanting to be independent, Arnold Schwarzenegger and the strange turn of events that lead him into politics, and bonded about being Catholic. But they were also very serious and knowledgeable about their jobs. I got to slide important questions in as if I were a scheming journalist looking for juice. I drank in every detail and observation because I could help them change and become even better. It’s a question of trust, priorities and tiny behavior modifications that reap the largest benefit. I know I sound like I’m masterminding…because I am. But it’s part of assessing. If I find people who are open to change and then figure out how I can get them to influence the hospital as a whole to change, then I just created sustainable growth. Which brings up a major goal of the Peace Corps – sustainability. Who cares if you run a great training session for health practices or have a life skills conference for children? Doesn’t it make more sense to have Rwandans own that training session and conference so that it will be perpetuated when you’re gone? I thought so. It’s always faster and usually less frustrating to take the reins and do it yourself. Transferring skills or planting seeds of ideas that they then own as their own is the challenge.