The Gay Community

Being gay in Rwanda is illegal. If you ask a Rwandan if there is a gay community or people who are gay here they will deny it. At one point I heard someone say that homosexuality was something that foreigners brought into Rwanda – not something that biologically appeared on its own. Of course there are gay people here, as in any country in the world. The expression of that identity is a whole ‘nother story.

Even though the admittance that one is gay is discouraged, expression of same sex love and physical contact is very accepted. It is commonplace to see two men or two women holding hands or arms around waist or hugging or simply standing very close. It is something that the American males in our group have had to get used to. Yes, as a male, a male language teacher may come up to you and hug or hold hands as you walk together to class. There is no sexual attachment to this physical contact, it simply is and is not questioned. Females do this as well. The first time I went to my resource mother’s house, she held my sweaty hand the entire 20 minute walk. It reminds me of high school a bit -girls walking arm and arm. Opposite sex physical touch does not happen so much in public. There is the usual hand shaking or hug but never holding hands in public.

It is horrifying to imagine how existence would be as a gay, Rwandan individual. If it was not accepted in your community, the prospect of that existence may not even come to mind when figuring out your identity. Added to the fact that having children is the most important goal in this society, being gay in Rwanda would be the most extreme form of ostracizing. I also cringe to think of living in Rwanda as a gay American. My heart goes out to all those fellow volunteers who have to hide part of themselves for two years.