Democratic Divorces

While standing around at "work" socializing this morning, I had quite an interesting conversation. The majority of my coworkers are men so once again I was getting the male, Rwanda perspective from two of my colleagues. We were discussing the concept of marriage as a short term contract versus a forever concept. I had never heard about it until I reached Rwanda, but apparently in some European countries and possibly even Canada there is a short term marriage contract phenomenon going on. Two people elect to 'get married' but really what they are doing is signing a contract for usually a two year term. At the end of two years they will decide whether to continue or go their separate ways. I'm fairly ignorant about the whole thing so I can't speak as an authority but I don't believe any divorce, per say, is required since the marriage didn't actually exist. I still haven't figured out what happens if children were produced during this trial period. Since Rwandans see America* as extremely liberal and progressive they assume we all enter into these 'try it on for size' marriages. I tried to reassure them that most Americans still believe in the marriage is forever concept. Or at least attempt to believe until they file for divorce for one reason or another.

'I wish more divorces happened here." That was the shocking sound bit of the morning. Why would a Rwanda wish for more divorces in his country? Well, he associates a high divorce rate with a functioning democracy. I guess he has a point. If a country is promoting a myriad of freedoms, equality amongst the sexes and enough financial and educational security to offer choices of lifestyle then perhaps more divorces happen. More abused spouses leave for a safe haven. More individuals make the decision based on happiness than financial security. More people feel the sting of stigma decreasing. Could divorce actually be a positive indicator?

Other fun facts of the morning: Yes, divorce does happen here in Rwanda. In larger towns and cities much more than in rural villages. As in America, the mothers usually gain custody of the children. There is a stigma surrounding it. Strong religious beliefs play a huge role in the social norms of marriage.


*Forgive me for my use of America to signify the United States. I personally hate the connotation that the US encompasses every possible North American and South American country that could also be called 'America' but it is such a common term here that I'm getting sucked into their vernacular.