Dennis the Menace

If I had written this two weeks ago, I would have given a charming caricature of a little boy named Jean Batiste. Jean Batiste won a place in my heart the first day he shouted at me, looking like the dirty little Rwandan child he is. He looks a lot like all of the little children that shout at me, with a goofy grin added in. It was the words coming out of his mouth that caught my attention. Unlike the grating English phrases most Rwandan children deploy when begging, Give me your money, I'm hungry, or just plain Money, Jean Batiste likes to shout I have much money. It makes me laugh every time. He thinks he's begging but really he's saying I have much money. Maybe you have to have people asking you for money every single day, day in and day out to find this humorous, but come on - I have much money. I always give a smile and say - Indeed Jean Batiste you do have much money. You are very rich.

We developed a little repoire. I would ask if he had family or how his day was, what he was doing, which was always nothing. At least he owns it. And then, as he was standing at my back fence, I would tell him to leave and he would. Then he started bringing his friend Patrick along. All was fine and dandy. Turned out Patrick also had much money.

Then yesterday as I was getting ready for bed and washing some clothes out back, here they came - the devilish duo. They were begging again. This time I was armed - I had finally memorized the phrase - It is bad to beg. But this defense didn't work because Jean Batiste countered with No, it's good. After a frustrating ten minute conversation saying the same two lines over and over, and me trying to appear stern and threatening, I had reached the end of my patience. I wanted these pestering children to leave me alone! I had a long day at work. I had a few dozen precious moments of daylight and I had a ton of housework to do. No I will not give you money, food, my radio, ANYTHING, because it all belongs to me and I like my measly lump of money, thank you very much. Physical aggression was starting to pop in my head. I was too hungry to deal with two conniving, soon-to-be conmen. So I did the only thing I could think to do, call in the big dogs. I walked up to my side fence and yelled Tabita's name. She's always looking for a reason to yell. Jean Batiste and Patrick took off like two whitetails during hunting season. I won the first battle, but I have a feeling I haven't seen the last of those two.