In Response

I recently received a comment on my blog providing additional information about Rwandan weddings and warning me to be careful of generalizing. I do agree. Generalizing can be harmful and hurtful. I try to be vigilant about how I phrase things or portray events to make sure everyone understands that I am just one person, having one specific experience in Rwanda. I do not claim to be an expert. Heck, I'm not even an expert on American culture and that's where I come from.

On the other hand, I don't want to discount my own experience. What I am living in is not some fake reality. I have a right to my own stories and the emotions that they provoked. I try not to make assumptions of the reasons behind certain behaviors so I ask questions. I believe those answers to be true although I'm sure a sampling of a 100 Rwandans would give a spectrum of responses.

Taking the high road. I am left here trying to decipher life and figuring out how to work effectively and productively. This morning I found my gate locked from the outside so I couldn't get out. Luckily I asked my neighbor's 7 year old to run over and unbolt it. By 8 in the morning I have been laughed at multiple times, mocked for my Kinyarwandan skills by coworkers, scoffed for not taking a chair offered to me because only crazy people stand like me and had my outfit readjusted and my top buttoned because apparently I can't dress myself properly. Yet I set that all aside to give the day a fresh look. I drudge up some patience and instead of sinking to their level of mocking and laughter I try to be mature and use every moment as a teaching/learning moment.

When I take the time to blog, I do it as a means of cultural exchange but I also do it as a kind of journal and release for myself. I may lose sight of Rwanda as a whole and only represent my village or my sub sect of coworkers as I tell about my life in Rwanda. Because I am using it to process and rationalize my own behavior I may take a few liberties with it. I can not apologize for this. Most of the posts are written for my family, pertaining to the things that I think my grandma will relate to and be curious about. So when I say that Rwandan weddings are similar to Americans' and boring that is because that is purely my opinion. I found them incredibly similar, considering I traveled half way around the world and weddings reminded me of home. I found them boring because if you know me in real life, you know this is an affliction that I have. I find most weddings appalling/boring wastes of money and time. This is not a judgment against Rwanda; I suppose it is a judgment against the elaborate and hectic events that we call a celebration of love and commitment.

I will try to consistently keep the harm of generalizing in my mind. As always, your comments are welcome.