Queries

Top ten favorite questions of Rwandans

-be prepared to answer these if you ever visit-

Please note: these will be written in Rwandan English. I didn't just start phrasing things awkwardly.

1. How do you find our climate?
2. How do you find our country?
3. How do you find the people?
4. Do you speak French? followed by Why don't you speak French?
5. Do they have _______ (insert produce item) in America? No matter how many times I tell them, they don't seem to believe me that we have every and any food imaginable in the US.
6. Are you married?
7. How old are you?
8. How many children do you have? Please note this is not Do you have children? because it is assumed you do have children if you look over the age of 20.
9. Are you a Christian/Have you been saved/Do you believe in Jesus?
10. What country are you from?

I have to mention here that for every moment a child does something adorable or someone is beyond kind to you or you are awed by this beautiful landscape, there are 5 moments of agony. You get stared at. You get yelled at. Someone demands money from you. Someone doesn't want to learn your name because you are just another white person. You are completely confused because you don't understand the language/cultural norms/history of things. You find yourself being the worst version of yourself because you have reached the end of your rope.

…and then someone asks for your umbrella and without a thought you hand it over. Because they sounded kind and trustworthy, or they just sounded like another human being, who needed something that you had. And once your beautifully functional, American umbrella (so many things here are made the cheapest way possible and break instantly, think dollar store) is gone, you start to wonder if it will actually return. And then you realize you did something selfless. Not because you were consciously trying to be a better person, but because you have been taught it. You have been absorbed into this culture for 8 months, where you give what you can. So all of a sudden, your brain didn't have to rationalize being kind, you simply were kind.

I think it will take my whole lifetime to realize all the lessons I was supposed to learn while living here. In the meantime, I am prepared to be surprised by these little moments that I see myself changing.

Instead of ending in that truly Hallmark fashion, I have to add what happened immediately afterward. I was feeling all warm and gooey inside when I man walks into my office. He tells me a story of a young patient who is an orphan girl. She is been in the hospital many days and her home is far from the hospital. She has no health insurance and no way to go home. He was a relative of another patient but was acting as this young girl's advocate. He was looking to me for money. As I sat with my expensive laptop and my cell phone, I lied through the teeth about being a volunteer and not having any money. I proceeded to direct him to the pastor of the village who might have some charity money available to the girl. I broke my heart as I wished that I had somehow avoided the whole situation. I can't be seen as a piggy bank for anyone who needs it (which is practically everyone) and even if I did give money I would need to be directed through someone else so I'm not giving handouts. I went home, once again questioning everything from the universe to myself. One day I'll learn something, right?