Community

Where is my community?

When you move to site it's all about integration, integration, integration. You are supposed to absorb yourself into your community. Know your neighbors, know your local leaders, know your coworkers, know the customs, the way of life, the water sources, the priorities, the taboos.

This will help your safety, will help you feel comfortable, help you get work done, work that is valued and advantageous.

But there's a problem in all of this. I think, personally, as a Peace Corps volunteer I am a bit like a little duckling. I opened up my little baby eyes and saw my community. But it wasn't at my site. It was way before that. See I was trained using a method that is not the community-based training. I didn't live with a host family. I didn't learn the customs or the food or the language that way. I was set in a classroom (which is pretty much my default setting), and put in a house with many, many other volunteers. Hence, community found. I bonded.

Then I moved to site. Sure I love my village. I love the quirks and the coziness. But my number one priority is my original duckling community. I worry about who is taking an emotional hit. I want their work to, frankly, work. I want us to pull through as a group, to lean on each other, to suffer side by side, to celebrate together.

My duckling community has taken a bit of a hit lately. My logical brain knows that everyone chooses what is best for them. They evaluate what they need to evaluate and ultimately are the only ones who knows best. So they make those hard decisions. and some go home. But my emotional brain feels betrayed. I want us to make it together. To link arms and not give up. To be able to fix each other's problems that are beyond out of anyone's control.

Some days I feel like the Titanic captain saying - come on guys. It's worth going down with the ship if we are together. and other times I want us all to buy a group plane ticket out of here.

I don't know how to end this post beyond saying, at this point, I can't tell who is the weak and who is the strong anymore. Nothing is ever that black and white. and everyday I am thankful for the volunteers that I've been able to share this crazy time with. I'll see you at the therapist's office. Maybe we can get a group rate :)