New Normal

Soundtrack to this post: The Call, Regina Spektor

I am two short months away from visiting home. (For the sake of my mother, I am going to emphasize the word 'short' there.) I feel so strange. I've been looking forward to this for over a year. I can honestly say, I've never been more excited to see my family. For the first time in my life, flying to Michigan is considered a vacation. I've had a million daydreams of all the fun, relaxing, Hallmark moments that will happen while I am home.

A week ago, it hit me. My normal has altered. The village life is my normal. I'm comfortable in the village. It's like my cocoon. I know what is expected of me in Rwanda, replacing all the social cues of home. I may go home and completely lose my marbles. I've heard the tales - going into Costco and having a panic attack. I've already had some symptoms. When there a lot of English speakers in the background I get supremely distracted. I can understand every word! Drowning out that background noise is really hard. In fact people say that when you go home, all of this feels like a fantasy. That it doesn't really exist, that you weren't really gone for a year, that your mind has a hard time reconciling these two parallel realities. This may be setting me up for the ultimate vacation. Nothing screams escape quite like thinking where you live is not a real place.

Basically I'm just setting the stage for when I reflect on my time at home. And building the case for why Peace Corps should pay for an unlimited amount of therapy throughout my life. Anyone from DC out there reading this? Think about it. You know I've got a point!