The presidential elections are coming up quickly in Rwanda. Rwandans will cast their ballots on August 9th. Although I am not allowed to talk about Rwandan politics with Rwandas, I am allowed to spout off as much as I want to other Americans and my blog. Nothing is really more interesting than witnessing democracy in the Third World. Will the elections truly be free and fair? Who knows. Considering I'm not allowed to be anywhere near a polling station I certainly won't be able to monitor or observe in any capacity.
One thing I love about Rwandan politics: candidates are only allowed to campaign for the three weeks before elections. Campaigning includes visiting local communities and giving speeches and during political press conferences promoting your party and such. Can you imagine all those annoying commercials disappearing? That escalating antagonism. Refreshing. Of course I also love how the internet and electricity happens to be reaching my village just as Kagame is coming to promote himself as a candidate. No doubt using the very recent development as a boost for his campaign.
One thing that I hate about Rwandan politics:
Biased media. All of a sudden there are many news segments about the greatness of Kagame, without any mention of other candidates. Democracy has so many angles, it's hard to see them all at once.
One thing that makes me confused:
There are countdowns and notices about the elections everywhere. On the Rwandan TV channel, in the top left corner is a little countdown. It shows the number of days until you can cast your vote in patriotic colors with a thumbs up. Along the major roads there are billboards proclaiming the election date and reminding people to vote. What confuses me is that most that I have seen have been in English. Yes there are some in Kinyarwandan. But really, isn't that a little elitist to have signs in English when the majority of the population can't speak it, except for the rich and educated people?
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Typical
After breakfast, some laundry and going to the market I ended up at the office. Waiting, waiting, waiting. The generator was not being turned on at 9am, per the usual. Those of us that depend on a desktop computer or printer were sitting twiddling our thumbs. Imagine sitting at your desk job and not being able to use your computer exactly when you wanted to. Work was simply not getting done. After an hour of waiting we all started to get antsy/irritated. Some headed out to the district offices to mooch off their power and internet. Others (myself included) went to the health center next door because of their snazzy solar panels. The rest just walked around looking purposeless.
There were rumors that the generator wouldn't work for the next two or three days. An ironic build of suspense since we are supposed to get legitimate electricity by Friday. But then as all things do, they turned around. Within a couple hours the generator was back on and we could function again.
Nothing here is predictable or consistent. So typical.
There were rumors that the generator wouldn't work for the next two or three days. An ironic build of suspense since we are supposed to get legitimate electricity by Friday. But then as all things do, they turned around. Within a couple hours the generator was back on and we could function again.
Nothing here is predictable or consistent. So typical.
CIA
The Peace Corps has had to compete with CIA speculations since its inception. Apparently something about sending Americans all over the world, in remote places, gaining the trust of the local people and working on projects that are hard to explain to the people back home screams spy. I was dwelling on this today while sitting in a meeting.
It came to my attention that the grant for the USAID program I am working for, specifically asked for Peace Corps volunteers to be a part of it. I'm still mulling over what the intention of that was. I can certainly offer a Western slant to the project but isn't doesn't the purpose of working for a Rwandan organization include not trying to taint a 'grassroots project'?
But truthfully, if PCVs were really spies - we'd be of the recent Russian caliber - completely ineffective, not trusted with any real responsibility and sent home without achieving anything close to our objectives.
It came to my attention that the grant for the USAID program I am working for, specifically asked for Peace Corps volunteers to be a part of it. I'm still mulling over what the intention of that was. I can certainly offer a Western slant to the project but isn't doesn't the purpose of working for a Rwandan organization include not trying to taint a 'grassroots project'?
But truthfully, if PCVs were really spies - we'd be of the recent Russian caliber - completely ineffective, not trusted with any real responsibility and sent home without achieving anything close to our objectives.
Rats in the Attic
This is not some funny metaphor/child reference like the fact that there really was a gorilla in my suitcase. I think I really do have rats in my attic. Or at least bats. So do I live in a mud hut? No, but my house is mainly made of mud. What they do is pack bricks of mud to make walls and then put a thin layer of concrete over it. There is some brick around Rwanda, if you have a fancy house but there is none on mine. My roof is made of tin. Unlike some houses where you can see straight up into the wood beams and tin roof from the rooms, I have a nicer ceiling. From what I can tell it is plywood but painted quite nicely…fancy plywood if you will. But from the outside of the house there is room for animals of the small and weasley variety to get in between the roof and the ceiling.
Something rustles around up there in the deep silence of night. Usually right above my bedroom, as if it knows which area of the house I try to sleep in and purposefully tries to burrow into the ceiling right above my bed. Have you shivered out of disgust yet? This is yet another time I LOVE my mosquito net. Somehow I have convinced myself if anything were to fall from the ceiling, my net would protect me. Don't ruin my logic because it's the only security blanket I have about the situation. I don't see any hope in trying to make my visitors leave. There's really no flawless strategy for that. I'll just keep my head buried under my covers when I think of rats in my ceiling…and thank God I'm not one of those PCVs who has snakes and bats and rats and tarantula-like, poisonous spiders actually inside their house.
Something rustles around up there in the deep silence of night. Usually right above my bedroom, as if it knows which area of the house I try to sleep in and purposefully tries to burrow into the ceiling right above my bed. Have you shivered out of disgust yet? This is yet another time I LOVE my mosquito net. Somehow I have convinced myself if anything were to fall from the ceiling, my net would protect me. Don't ruin my logic because it's the only security blanket I have about the situation. I don't see any hope in trying to make my visitors leave. There's really no flawless strategy for that. I'll just keep my head buried under my covers when I think of rats in my ceiling…and thank God I'm not one of those PCVs who has snakes and bats and rats and tarantula-like, poisonous spiders actually inside their house.
Friday, July 16, 2010
The Chicken and the Egg
Where does development begin? Every where you look in Rwanda there is a non-profit organization trying to make life better here. It makes you ponder who is doing it correctly. Should we be worried about getting books into their hands and teaching them English if they are consistently getting worms because of unsafe drinking water? Should Internet accessibility be a priority if there are still children being malnourished while living in destitute poverty? Should I bother centering a project around mental health when there are water shortages?
They are building a railway linking Tanzania and Rwanda. There is a new international airport being created in the East. Fiberoptic cable is being placed along all the roadways, spanning out to the rural villages. The electrical cables are slowly making their way to my village. New construction is everywhere.
But where is the water?
Can you create a successful business if there isn't consistent water? Should you risk farming new produce if you can't properly irrigate it? Can you move onto critical thinking about freedoms and rights when you can't feed and hydrate yourself?
I realize everyone should try to help Rwanda's development in their own way. We were all created uniquely for a reason, with different sets of strengths. But the more I consider my role in Rwanda, the more it keeps coming back to the water. and not just because every time I step out my door in the morning Tabita tells me how much she wants my water.
* A couple days later I came back to this post and noticing a glaring error. Why should the first question I pose about development ask what foreign aid organizations are doing for Rwanda? What is Rwanda doing for Rwanda? If you are interested, Vision 2020 is a must read. It is the ambitious plan of development that the government of Rwanda created for itself. So now, not only do I think water is crucial but sanitation is taking over the lead. What a great idea to have proper waste management throughout the country. Some of the goals are just laughable. Will 100% of the population be literate by 2020? Of course not. But it's nice to dream. I let my mind wander and imagined time speeding up. I wish everything moved as fast as Rwandans are trying to make them move.
Things to look forward to:
public libraries being built
electricity reaching some of us rural villages
internet fibers reaching many, many places in the countryside
new national airport being built bringing the grand total up to two Rwandan airports
railways linking Rwanda to regional trading partners
new universities being started to promote the knowledge-based industries
*Personal update on my electricity situation: It really is coming! Now everyone is jumping over to the optimistic side of the electricity debate. They say in two weeks we should have electricity…which is hard to deny when you can actually see the wire coming closer and closer to the village. Still unclear whether the wires will reach to my house, where there are no poles. By now I'm quite comfortable cooking with my kerosene stove so probably won't buy a hotplate after all. But charging my phone and computer at my house would be lovely. Random sidenote: I ended up at the hospital after dark last night (no, not by myself; and the hospital is my workplace, I wasn't ill or injured). I had to run into the office to get something and the generators were running, as they do all night, every night so that doctors can actually see the patients. There were little clusters of secondary students sitting around the hallways studying. They were using the electricity to get in a few extra hours of studying. I am constantly amazed by how dedicated these students are to their education and how hard they have to work to get something that so many Americans take for granted. I will happy to see the school get electricity so the students don't have to worry about walking to another part of town at night just to get their homework done. Ahh, development.
They are building a railway linking Tanzania and Rwanda. There is a new international airport being created in the East. Fiberoptic cable is being placed along all the roadways, spanning out to the rural villages. The electrical cables are slowly making their way to my village. New construction is everywhere.
But where is the water?
Can you create a successful business if there isn't consistent water? Should you risk farming new produce if you can't properly irrigate it? Can you move onto critical thinking about freedoms and rights when you can't feed and hydrate yourself?
I realize everyone should try to help Rwanda's development in their own way. We were all created uniquely for a reason, with different sets of strengths. But the more I consider my role in Rwanda, the more it keeps coming back to the water. and not just because every time I step out my door in the morning Tabita tells me how much she wants my water.
* A couple days later I came back to this post and noticing a glaring error. Why should the first question I pose about development ask what foreign aid organizations are doing for Rwanda? What is Rwanda doing for Rwanda? If you are interested, Vision 2020 is a must read. It is the ambitious plan of development that the government of Rwanda created for itself. So now, not only do I think water is crucial but sanitation is taking over the lead. What a great idea to have proper waste management throughout the country. Some of the goals are just laughable. Will 100% of the population be literate by 2020? Of course not. But it's nice to dream. I let my mind wander and imagined time speeding up. I wish everything moved as fast as Rwandans are trying to make them move.
Things to look forward to:
public libraries being built
electricity reaching some of us rural villages
internet fibers reaching many, many places in the countryside
new national airport being built bringing the grand total up to two Rwandan airports
railways linking Rwanda to regional trading partners
new universities being started to promote the knowledge-based industries
*Personal update on my electricity situation: It really is coming! Now everyone is jumping over to the optimistic side of the electricity debate. They say in two weeks we should have electricity…which is hard to deny when you can actually see the wire coming closer and closer to the village. Still unclear whether the wires will reach to my house, where there are no poles. By now I'm quite comfortable cooking with my kerosene stove so probably won't buy a hotplate after all. But charging my phone and computer at my house would be lovely. Random sidenote: I ended up at the hospital after dark last night (no, not by myself; and the hospital is my workplace, I wasn't ill or injured). I had to run into the office to get something and the generators were running, as they do all night, every night so that doctors can actually see the patients. There were little clusters of secondary students sitting around the hallways studying. They were using the electricity to get in a few extra hours of studying. I am constantly amazed by how dedicated these students are to their education and how hard they have to work to get something that so many Americans take for granted. I will happy to see the school get electricity so the students don't have to worry about walking to another part of town at night just to get their homework done. Ahh, development.
Texts from Rwanda
Only since arriving to Rwanda did I learn about a website called - Texts from Last Night. It's mainly used to post drunken texts people receive the night before so that the world can laugh at them. I'm stealing this idea to create my own version - Texts from Rwanda. None of these are drunken (to my knowledge) but living in Rwanda creates a sort of humor that even alcohol can't compete with. I doubt you will all find these as funny as myself and the other PCVs do but they do offer a glimpse into our strange reality here. I'm not identifying anyone who sent these because I didn't tell everyone I'd be posting them online (oops, sorry)…and some of them were sent by myself.
So I was walking through town, and 2 kids pushing a bike passed me, and I was like, yes! This is the right speed! :) (referring to the honed skill of walking slower than Rwandans)
My neighbors have come out to watch me cook i'm going 2 make my fortune on the rwandan food network!
neighbor.s house girl had 2 clean my front walk bc watching me do it was 2 painful. what is kinyarwandan 4 muri america i was a competent adult? (muri america means in america)
Morning! I've dreamed that you have 3 beautiful children and living in RR ok good day success (if you can't tell that was written by a Rwandan coworker…her dream included me having triplets! eek! She thought it was hilarious!)
crap the sky is falling! seriously rocks just fell in my shower room after an aggressive visit from a bird
there is a man outside my office with a cow print cowboy hat, plaid jacket and cane. it will be a great day (referring to the amazing wardrobes of some Rwandans)
my latrine floor is cracking!
So I was walking through town, and 2 kids pushing a bike passed me, and I was like, yes! This is the right speed! :) (referring to the honed skill of walking slower than Rwandans)
My neighbors have come out to watch me cook i'm going 2 make my fortune on the rwandan food network!
neighbor.s house girl had 2 clean my front walk bc watching me do it was 2 painful. what is kinyarwandan 4 muri america i was a competent adult? (muri america means in america)
Morning! I've dreamed that you have 3 beautiful children and living in RR ok good day success (if you can't tell that was written by a Rwandan coworker…her dream included me having triplets! eek! She thought it was hilarious!)
crap the sky is falling! seriously rocks just fell in my shower room after an aggressive visit from a bird
there is a man outside my office with a cow print cowboy hat, plaid jacket and cane. it will be a great day (referring to the amazing wardrobes of some Rwandans)
my latrine floor is cracking!
Job WHAT
So what do you do again? Common question. I've been avoiding addressing it here, don't know how to self analyze that; but I'm going to try and explain it as best I can.
I work for a USAID program, Higa Ubeho, which operates off PEPFAR funds. PEPFAR is the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief which was set up by George W. Like all great bureaucratic ladders, the money is handed down through many layers. USAID gives it to CHF (used to stand for Christian/Catholic Housing Federation although that doesn't make much sense anymore) who gives it to Rwandan partner organizations (RPOs). I directly work for the RPO called EPR - Presbyterian Church of Rwanda. Higa Ubeho is a HUGE program with different sections addressing education, economic strengthening, nutrition, etc. Because it is funded by PEPFAR, all the services target people living with HIV/AIDS (PVV). Had enough acronyms yet? Well, in case you're an avid reader who remembers details - Claudia is the person in charge of education. She helps coordinate the paying of school fees for OVCs (orphans and vulnerable children) and gets them their school supplies. She is also starting PTAs (yes, like American PTAs - parent-teacher associations). We are also holding a holiday camp at the beginning of August, which she will be in charge of. Holiday camps are usually week long camps for secondary students to teach them life skills. It will be similar to a leadership camp - focusing on their individual talents and resilience and creating goals and support networks for creating success in their future. We will have over 500 students coming from all over the district to stay at the local boarding school for a week (school is out of session for the month). I will be helping out with this although it is not my primary function.
I work with the economic strengthening officer/food security officer, Fidele. We are creating ISLGs (internal savings and lending groups). To put it as simply as possible, we are taking parents of the OVCs and creating a culture of saving so that when the program is finished, they can afford to pay the school fees themselves. We are also targeting members of cooperatives who are living with HIV/AIDS. Cooperatives are hard to explain because there is no direct American comparison. The best I can come up with is a small business if the business partners all had the same social problem they were trying to combat. These people, specifically, were mobilized to come together to improve their situation because they are living with HIV/AIDS, although there can be other social reasons for them to come together. They are encouraged to have IGAs (income generating activities). So creating ISLGs within cooperatives, is fueling capital internally to promote their IGA, not just personally but for the cooperative as a whole.
Let me give you an example so this will make more sense. We have a cooperative called Benimana. They make honey. All the 40 some members are living with HIV/AIDS. They aren't always healthy at the same time so it's good that they can run their honey business as a group. They can also lean on each other for support as friends. They have a whole system already set up for how they run their business, possibly monthly meetings of the entire assembly, biweekly meetings of the e-board and a schedule for manual labor and marketing. We split the cooperative into 2 ISLGs. They can make their own rules. They elect a president, secretary, treasurer, 2 money counters and three key holders. They decide how often they will meet and the amount of money they will collect at each meeting. Usually it's a weekly meeting with 100 francs being collected for loans and then 25 francs for social funds. The interest rate is usually set around 10%. Members can petition for a loan. They have to present a IGA that they will start. One such activity could be raising chickens and then selling the eggs. The member needs the initial capital to buy some chickens. They will tell the assembly how quickly they will be able to pay the loan back, plus interest. The interest goes into the community pot for other members to take loans from. The social funds are not used for loans. Members can use these funds for emergency instances - a funeral - or if a member becomes very ill and other members want to bring them food and supplies. Social funds don't need to be paid back. The ISLG is set up on a strict time line (usually a year or two). At the end of that time, all the money in the pot is split amongst the members. They can agree to restart the group and elect a new e-board if they want. The ISLG helps them generate their own capital for business, while keeping them on a strict schedule of saving. It also helps them avoid banks while necessary. Banks can have fees, too much bureaucracy and urban locations for these incredibly poor and rural citizens.
So in case you are wondering what economic strengthening has to do with being a health volunteer - it all leads back to everything being connected and trying to figure out the best way to help people living with HIV/AIDS. Should we just keep giving them free prescription drugs (which we don't actually do at my hospital)? and all the orphans whose parents died of AIDS and they themselves are HIV positive, should we pay all their school fees and leave it at that? Should we treat them as if they are incapable of still generating their own income and feeling productive and self sufficient? Well, of course not. Economic strengthening (which I'm crossing my fingers will actually work) could create a cultural shift to start organic savings and create small businesses that support local communities. What a beautiful sight that would be. If just one person finds the money to pay for their health insurance so they can get ARV medication…success.
Higa Ubeho is coming off the heels of a previous USAID program called CHAMP (another acronym that means something about HIV, mobilizing people, community, blah, blah). From the impression I've gotten from people working on CHAMP, it was more heavily focused on handouts - whereas Higa Ubeho is more about giving people the tools to help themselves. There was 2 planned phases to CHAMP. For one reason or another, CHAMP was not approved to perform phase 2. All I know is that there were a few RPOs that were dropped and new ones added, and reporting and monitoring is being heavily stressed this go around. I'm really hoping we make it to phase two. For one thing it is where all the nutrition activities are housed, which would be incredibly helpful, and it will keep me with some semblance of a job for the entire two years I'm in Rwanda.
Luckily I already have side activities that have been occupying my time - English club, Anti-SIDA club, mental health office and I even got to see some of the data management that happens for my hospital and the 11 health centers in the district yesterday. I am only now ready to admit what a data geek I am. Data entry and number crunching is both calming and exhilarating to me. What is wrong with me?!
I work for a USAID program, Higa Ubeho, which operates off PEPFAR funds. PEPFAR is the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief which was set up by George W. Like all great bureaucratic ladders, the money is handed down through many layers. USAID gives it to CHF (used to stand for Christian/Catholic Housing Federation although that doesn't make much sense anymore) who gives it to Rwandan partner organizations (RPOs). I directly work for the RPO called EPR - Presbyterian Church of Rwanda. Higa Ubeho is a HUGE program with different sections addressing education, economic strengthening, nutrition, etc. Because it is funded by PEPFAR, all the services target people living with HIV/AIDS (PVV). Had enough acronyms yet? Well, in case you're an avid reader who remembers details - Claudia is the person in charge of education. She helps coordinate the paying of school fees for OVCs (orphans and vulnerable children) and gets them their school supplies. She is also starting PTAs (yes, like American PTAs - parent-teacher associations). We are also holding a holiday camp at the beginning of August, which she will be in charge of. Holiday camps are usually week long camps for secondary students to teach them life skills. It will be similar to a leadership camp - focusing on their individual talents and resilience and creating goals and support networks for creating success in their future. We will have over 500 students coming from all over the district to stay at the local boarding school for a week (school is out of session for the month). I will be helping out with this although it is not my primary function.
I work with the economic strengthening officer/food security officer, Fidele. We are creating ISLGs (internal savings and lending groups). To put it as simply as possible, we are taking parents of the OVCs and creating a culture of saving so that when the program is finished, they can afford to pay the school fees themselves. We are also targeting members of cooperatives who are living with HIV/AIDS. Cooperatives are hard to explain because there is no direct American comparison. The best I can come up with is a small business if the business partners all had the same social problem they were trying to combat. These people, specifically, were mobilized to come together to improve their situation because they are living with HIV/AIDS, although there can be other social reasons for them to come together. They are encouraged to have IGAs (income generating activities). So creating ISLGs within cooperatives, is fueling capital internally to promote their IGA, not just personally but for the cooperative as a whole.
Let me give you an example so this will make more sense. We have a cooperative called Benimana. They make honey. All the 40 some members are living with HIV/AIDS. They aren't always healthy at the same time so it's good that they can run their honey business as a group. They can also lean on each other for support as friends. They have a whole system already set up for how they run their business, possibly monthly meetings of the entire assembly, biweekly meetings of the e-board and a schedule for manual labor and marketing. We split the cooperative into 2 ISLGs. They can make their own rules. They elect a president, secretary, treasurer, 2 money counters and three key holders. They decide how often they will meet and the amount of money they will collect at each meeting. Usually it's a weekly meeting with 100 francs being collected for loans and then 25 francs for social funds. The interest rate is usually set around 10%. Members can petition for a loan. They have to present a IGA that they will start. One such activity could be raising chickens and then selling the eggs. The member needs the initial capital to buy some chickens. They will tell the assembly how quickly they will be able to pay the loan back, plus interest. The interest goes into the community pot for other members to take loans from. The social funds are not used for loans. Members can use these funds for emergency instances - a funeral - or if a member becomes very ill and other members want to bring them food and supplies. Social funds don't need to be paid back. The ISLG is set up on a strict time line (usually a year or two). At the end of that time, all the money in the pot is split amongst the members. They can agree to restart the group and elect a new e-board if they want. The ISLG helps them generate their own capital for business, while keeping them on a strict schedule of saving. It also helps them avoid banks while necessary. Banks can have fees, too much bureaucracy and urban locations for these incredibly poor and rural citizens.
So in case you are wondering what economic strengthening has to do with being a health volunteer - it all leads back to everything being connected and trying to figure out the best way to help people living with HIV/AIDS. Should we just keep giving them free prescription drugs (which we don't actually do at my hospital)? and all the orphans whose parents died of AIDS and they themselves are HIV positive, should we pay all their school fees and leave it at that? Should we treat them as if they are incapable of still generating their own income and feeling productive and self sufficient? Well, of course not. Economic strengthening (which I'm crossing my fingers will actually work) could create a cultural shift to start organic savings and create small businesses that support local communities. What a beautiful sight that would be. If just one person finds the money to pay for their health insurance so they can get ARV medication…success.
Higa Ubeho is coming off the heels of a previous USAID program called CHAMP (another acronym that means something about HIV, mobilizing people, community, blah, blah). From the impression I've gotten from people working on CHAMP, it was more heavily focused on handouts - whereas Higa Ubeho is more about giving people the tools to help themselves. There was 2 planned phases to CHAMP. For one reason or another, CHAMP was not approved to perform phase 2. All I know is that there were a few RPOs that were dropped and new ones added, and reporting and monitoring is being heavily stressed this go around. I'm really hoping we make it to phase two. For one thing it is where all the nutrition activities are housed, which would be incredibly helpful, and it will keep me with some semblance of a job for the entire two years I'm in Rwanda.
Luckily I already have side activities that have been occupying my time - English club, Anti-SIDA club, mental health office and I even got to see some of the data management that happens for my hospital and the 11 health centers in the district yesterday. I am only now ready to admit what a data geek I am. Data entry and number crunching is both calming and exhilarating to me. What is wrong with me?!
Evaluation
The evaluators are coming! The hospital is abuzz! Next week is like judgement day. Evaluators from the Ministry of Health visit all the hospitals to rate them. Based on the ratings, funding could be cut or increased. The more productive and quality your hospital is, the more federal money you receive. Sounds like motivation to me!
For some reason I am always surprised to hear the formal functioning of Rwandan bureaucracy. I guess I always just picture Africa as a place of no deadlines, no paperwork and no ratings systems for federal funding.
As with every workplace there are those that work their butts off and those that use their butts to sit and be sloths. It's hard to reward some while reprimanding others. I wonder how getting fired in Rwanda works? I'll let you know if I find out…not personally of course!
For some reason I am always surprised to hear the formal functioning of Rwandan bureaucracy. I guess I always just picture Africa as a place of no deadlines, no paperwork and no ratings systems for federal funding.
As with every workplace there are those that work their butts off and those that use their butts to sit and be sloths. It's hard to reward some while reprimanding others. I wonder how getting fired in Rwanda works? I'll let you know if I find out…not personally of course!
Preggers
Meet Christine. She is the second mental health nurse, who I am also privileged to call my friend. She is Rwandan - roughly 33 years old. She lives in Kigali but commutes into work at the hospital. I instantly took a liking to her because she has a no-nonsense, maternal sense about her. Some women just seem to exude that. I, being a bad judge of age to begin with, am constantly astounded to learn the ages of Rwandans. Most of it isn't my fault because they look young and most are stunted from malnutrition. I was shocked when I found out that Christine was in her thirties, especially because I knew that she had recently got married. Getting married in your thirties as a female in Rwanda is the equivalent of coming out of the old maids club in the 1920s to be married that late.
Instead of the usual reason of not getting married while completing your education, I learned that Christine had a much bigger reason. Five people bigger. Turns out she is the oldest of six children. Both of her parents were killed during the genocide. Ever since she has been taking care of her siblings as if they were her own children. She felt like she had to get all their lives settled before she essentially started living her own. Now that their education is well on its way if not over, she felt like she could get married.
Lately Christine has been playing hooky from work in the afternoon. She goes to eat lunch every day at the house of the other mental health nurse, Jeanne. Most days Jeanne comes back to the hospital and explains to us that Christine is taking a nap because she was exhausted. After a few instances like this Edison and I started joking around the Christine was pregnant. We spread a little workplace gossip, to the people we can trust of course. She laughed in response to our pressurized questioning but didn't deny. I just learned today that Christine told Jeanne that it is definitely a possibility and that she is going to go to the doctor for a pregnancy test! Exciting news. Although I'm selfishly hoping this doesn't push Christine to become a stay at home mom, I am excited to see her adorable Rwandan baby.
Instead of the usual reason of not getting married while completing your education, I learned that Christine had a much bigger reason. Five people bigger. Turns out she is the oldest of six children. Both of her parents were killed during the genocide. Ever since she has been taking care of her siblings as if they were her own children. She felt like she had to get all their lives settled before she essentially started living her own. Now that their education is well on its way if not over, she felt like she could get married.
Lately Christine has been playing hooky from work in the afternoon. She goes to eat lunch every day at the house of the other mental health nurse, Jeanne. Most days Jeanne comes back to the hospital and explains to us that Christine is taking a nap because she was exhausted. After a few instances like this Edison and I started joking around the Christine was pregnant. We spread a little workplace gossip, to the people we can trust of course. She laughed in response to our pressurized questioning but didn't deny. I just learned today that Christine told Jeanne that it is definitely a possibility and that she is going to go to the doctor for a pregnancy test! Exciting news. Although I'm selfishly hoping this doesn't push Christine to become a stay at home mom, I am excited to see her adorable Rwandan baby.
Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Classic example of the simple knowledge I can pass along to Rwandans:
It was the lovely beginning of an afternoon. No need to rush back to work after lunch. Fidele* and I usually like to relax and digest for a half hour after eating lunch, if we don't have a meeting at 2pm. We were watching Rwanda TV, which was showing a documentary on the history of airplanes. I was gathering as much information as I could, which was limited since it was in French. I asked Fidele if he had heard about the solar plane that completed a 26 hour flight. (If you haven't heard about this - google it - exciting stuff for alternative energy; and hopefully cheaper plane tickets are in our future). He had not, although he was very excited to hear my schpel about it.
This is about the third conversation I've had with various Rwandans about planes, where I have to remind myself that there is a very small minority of people here who have actually been on a plane. Fidele- not being within that minority, although one day he dreams of being in a plane, even if for just a few minutes to get a good bird's eye view. Of course, he like all Rwandans, want to visit America and by visit I mean somehow get into the country and then disappear into a crowd and become an illegal immigrant because life is perfect in America and all the roads are paved in gold and there are no starving people, etc. etc. …I hope you caught the sarcastic tone in my typing.
I began by explaining how long the journey was for me to travel from Michigan to Rwanda. A whole three flights and roughly 20 hours of flight, not counting all that 'arriving at the airport early' stuff. I didn't even begin to venture into a time zone discussion. It started off with naively adorable questions like can you see people from that high up, what does the ocean look like, how high up do you think you have to be to see the entire continent of Africa. Around the point Fidele asked what sort of hotel waiver the airlines gives you so you can get a good night's sleep, I realized this man was seriously ignorant to the world of planes. I gave him a crude understanding of sonar, air traffic controllers, altitude pressure, sleeping in a chair, TVs in seats, pilots getting their very own room where the passengers can't hear everything they say, intercom systems, and airline food. I was feeling so ambitious I even ventured into a conversation about hot air balloons. In case you're wondering Fidele had absolutely no reference point for this - not even birthday balloons. I cringe just thinking about my elementary understanding of these things that I'm now passing along to people who don't know any better than to listen to me.
It made me realize that - sure, not every American has flown in a plane - but we have the privilege of media and movies. We can vicariously experience just about anything by turning on cable TV, including many things that no one should experience. We at least know these things exist, whether or not they will ever be a part of our reality. Some experiences are such extremely foreign concepts in many places in the world. (If it's entertaining to you, you can emphasize the pun of the word foreign.) Is it serving us well to know all this? Would life be less cluttered if we didn't know that planes can actually fly through the night without hitting each other?
*Fidele is my supervisor/coworker for those of you who don't know.
It was the lovely beginning of an afternoon. No need to rush back to work after lunch. Fidele* and I usually like to relax and digest for a half hour after eating lunch, if we don't have a meeting at 2pm. We were watching Rwanda TV, which was showing a documentary on the history of airplanes. I was gathering as much information as I could, which was limited since it was in French. I asked Fidele if he had heard about the solar plane that completed a 26 hour flight. (If you haven't heard about this - google it - exciting stuff for alternative energy; and hopefully cheaper plane tickets are in our future). He had not, although he was very excited to hear my schpel about it.
This is about the third conversation I've had with various Rwandans about planes, where I have to remind myself that there is a very small minority of people here who have actually been on a plane. Fidele- not being within that minority, although one day he dreams of being in a plane, even if for just a few minutes to get a good bird's eye view. Of course, he like all Rwandans, want to visit America and by visit I mean somehow get into the country and then disappear into a crowd and become an illegal immigrant because life is perfect in America and all the roads are paved in gold and there are no starving people, etc. etc. …I hope you caught the sarcastic tone in my typing.
I began by explaining how long the journey was for me to travel from Michigan to Rwanda. A whole three flights and roughly 20 hours of flight, not counting all that 'arriving at the airport early' stuff. I didn't even begin to venture into a time zone discussion. It started off with naively adorable questions like can you see people from that high up, what does the ocean look like, how high up do you think you have to be to see the entire continent of Africa. Around the point Fidele asked what sort of hotel waiver the airlines gives you so you can get a good night's sleep, I realized this man was seriously ignorant to the world of planes. I gave him a crude understanding of sonar, air traffic controllers, altitude pressure, sleeping in a chair, TVs in seats, pilots getting their very own room where the passengers can't hear everything they say, intercom systems, and airline food. I was feeling so ambitious I even ventured into a conversation about hot air balloons. In case you're wondering Fidele had absolutely no reference point for this - not even birthday balloons. I cringe just thinking about my elementary understanding of these things that I'm now passing along to people who don't know any better than to listen to me.
It made me realize that - sure, not every American has flown in a plane - but we have the privilege of media and movies. We can vicariously experience just about anything by turning on cable TV, including many things that no one should experience. We at least know these things exist, whether or not they will ever be a part of our reality. Some experiences are such extremely foreign concepts in many places in the world. (If it's entertaining to you, you can emphasize the pun of the word foreign.) Is it serving us well to know all this? Would life be less cluttered if we didn't know that planes can actually fly through the night without hitting each other?
*Fidele is my supervisor/coworker for those of you who don't know.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Two Years
The bus pulled away and a little piece of my heart went with it. In just a couple weeks, they will be wandering the campus that I could walk around with my eyes closed. They will be hugging their loved ones and telling stories of their trip to another world. They will have completed a quick jaunt in Rwanda and be continuing their education.
I had the funniest feeling in the pit of my stomach as the MSU med students left my village today. I had chosen a different path. I've committed two years of my life to creating a cultural exchange and maybe even helping someone along the way.
Sometimes two years feels like a blink. If you consider that a person, at least a female, will probably live well into her seventies, two years is a tiny stint in her life. It can be referred to in stories as those quick two years spent in Africa. But some days two years feels like forever.
I have finally hit that moment when my mental psyche fully catches up with my physical being. I am not in some hazy fog about being in Rwanda, waiting to grasp the decision I made. This is two years, very far from the familiar. I stare at a picture of my nephew and recognize that I won't be there to see him take his first steps. I can only keep up the bonds with my family and friends by compulsively emailing and blogging. I stare at the letters people send me and cry (yes, Africa has made me a huge crybaby). It's not that I want to run home and forget this ever happened. I just recognize that my relationships have to function differently. My communication has to bridge that physical gap. I have to keep some semblance of the 'normal' so I can keep what is so distinctly 'me'. - I still have a huge stack of books and magazines next to my bed that occasionally avalanche onto my head when I sleep, and I have managed to be reading 5 books at the same time, as always. I still go to bed at hours that even grandmas wouldn't be accused of. I still eat oatmeal as much as possible. I still ramble on and act like people are listening…
Two years may seem like too large of a sacrifice for some. But a month long glimpse into a society isn't nearly enough to understand a culture. Observing others for a few days isn't really helping so much as distracting. So I'm going to stop feeling antsy about doing real work here and be proud of the relationships that I've built during this short time. Because relationships are what life is really about…especially in Rwanda.
I had the funniest feeling in the pit of my stomach as the MSU med students left my village today. I had chosen a different path. I've committed two years of my life to creating a cultural exchange and maybe even helping someone along the way.
Sometimes two years feels like a blink. If you consider that a person, at least a female, will probably live well into her seventies, two years is a tiny stint in her life. It can be referred to in stories as those quick two years spent in Africa. But some days two years feels like forever.
I have finally hit that moment when my mental psyche fully catches up with my physical being. I am not in some hazy fog about being in Rwanda, waiting to grasp the decision I made. This is two years, very far from the familiar. I stare at a picture of my nephew and recognize that I won't be there to see him take his first steps. I can only keep up the bonds with my family and friends by compulsively emailing and blogging. I stare at the letters people send me and cry (yes, Africa has made me a huge crybaby). It's not that I want to run home and forget this ever happened. I just recognize that my relationships have to function differently. My communication has to bridge that physical gap. I have to keep some semblance of the 'normal' so I can keep what is so distinctly 'me'. - I still have a huge stack of books and magazines next to my bed that occasionally avalanche onto my head when I sleep, and I have managed to be reading 5 books at the same time, as always. I still go to bed at hours that even grandmas wouldn't be accused of. I still eat oatmeal as much as possible. I still ramble on and act like people are listening…
Two years may seem like too large of a sacrifice for some. But a month long glimpse into a society isn't nearly enough to understand a culture. Observing others for a few days isn't really helping so much as distracting. So I'm going to stop feeling antsy about doing real work here and be proud of the relationships that I've built during this short time. Because relationships are what life is really about…especially in Rwanda.
Capitalism
I have been enjoying capitalism at its finest lately. I feel like I should give homage to good old free market economics during this one moment when I can fully and selfishly support it.
There are three cell phone companies in Rwanda (Rwandatel, Tigo and MTN). Rwandatel was the original and from what I can tell absolutely no one uses it anymore. MTN is widely known and considering it was a sponsor for the World Cup I think it spans much of the African continent. Tigo is the newest competitor.
As a classic consumer I've decided to support Tigo for their cheaper rates and the fact that their advertising is just so much better. If your commercials make me laugh and/or dance, I should reward you with some business. I'm only getting one TV channel as it is so the advertising better be phenomenal!
Since Tigo is trying to make a name for itself it charges much less for cell phone minutes, successfully creating the two cell phone phenomenon. Within the last month or two you can witness Rwandans carrying around two cell phones each. This seems silly and wasteful (hence why I've resisted so far). But it does make some sense. They want to save money with Tigo but they don't want to tell 50 million people what their new number is so they buy a new Tigo SIM card with a new number, and then they buy a new phone. Some people actually just have one phone with two SIM cards that they rotate, ensuring they are always missing a call at some point. Some believe that MTN will lower it's prices substantially to compete. They have already had some price wars by offering free bonus minutes during select time periods.
Thank you capitalism.
although it does beg the question, where are these people charging not just one cell phone but two with no electricity?
There are three cell phone companies in Rwanda (Rwandatel, Tigo and MTN). Rwandatel was the original and from what I can tell absolutely no one uses it anymore. MTN is widely known and considering it was a sponsor for the World Cup I think it spans much of the African continent. Tigo is the newest competitor.
As a classic consumer I've decided to support Tigo for their cheaper rates and the fact that their advertising is just so much better. If your commercials make me laugh and/or dance, I should reward you with some business. I'm only getting one TV channel as it is so the advertising better be phenomenal!
Since Tigo is trying to make a name for itself it charges much less for cell phone minutes, successfully creating the two cell phone phenomenon. Within the last month or two you can witness Rwandans carrying around two cell phones each. This seems silly and wasteful (hence why I've resisted so far). But it does make some sense. They want to save money with Tigo but they don't want to tell 50 million people what their new number is so they buy a new Tigo SIM card with a new number, and then they buy a new phone. Some people actually just have one phone with two SIM cards that they rotate, ensuring they are always missing a call at some point. Some believe that MTN will lower it's prices substantially to compete. They have already had some price wars by offering free bonus minutes during select time periods.
Thank you capitalism.
although it does beg the question, where are these people charging not just one cell phone but two with no electricity?
Democratic Divorces
While standing around at "work" socializing this morning, I had quite an interesting conversation. The majority of my coworkers are men so once again I was getting the male, Rwanda perspective from two of my colleagues. We were discussing the concept of marriage as a short term contract versus a forever concept. I had never heard about it until I reached Rwanda, but apparently in some European countries and possibly even Canada there is a short term marriage contract phenomenon going on. Two people elect to 'get married' but really what they are doing is signing a contract for usually a two year term. At the end of two years they will decide whether to continue or go their separate ways. I'm fairly ignorant about the whole thing so I can't speak as an authority but I don't believe any divorce, per say, is required since the marriage didn't actually exist. I still haven't figured out what happens if children were produced during this trial period. Since Rwandans see America* as extremely liberal and progressive they assume we all enter into these 'try it on for size' marriages. I tried to reassure them that most Americans still believe in the marriage is forever concept. Or at least attempt to believe until they file for divorce for one reason or another.
'I wish more divorces happened here." That was the shocking sound bit of the morning. Why would a Rwanda wish for more divorces in his country? Well, he associates a high divorce rate with a functioning democracy. I guess he has a point. If a country is promoting a myriad of freedoms, equality amongst the sexes and enough financial and educational security to offer choices of lifestyle then perhaps more divorces happen. More abused spouses leave for a safe haven. More individuals make the decision based on happiness than financial security. More people feel the sting of stigma decreasing. Could divorce actually be a positive indicator?
Other fun facts of the morning: Yes, divorce does happen here in Rwanda. In larger towns and cities much more than in rural villages. As in America, the mothers usually gain custody of the children. There is a stigma surrounding it. Strong religious beliefs play a huge role in the social norms of marriage.
*Forgive me for my use of America to signify the United States. I personally hate the connotation that the US encompasses every possible North American and South American country that could also be called 'America' but it is such a common term here that I'm getting sucked into their vernacular.
'I wish more divorces happened here." That was the shocking sound bit of the morning. Why would a Rwanda wish for more divorces in his country? Well, he associates a high divorce rate with a functioning democracy. I guess he has a point. If a country is promoting a myriad of freedoms, equality amongst the sexes and enough financial and educational security to offer choices of lifestyle then perhaps more divorces happen. More abused spouses leave for a safe haven. More individuals make the decision based on happiness than financial security. More people feel the sting of stigma decreasing. Could divorce actually be a positive indicator?
Other fun facts of the morning: Yes, divorce does happen here in Rwanda. In larger towns and cities much more than in rural villages. As in America, the mothers usually gain custody of the children. There is a stigma surrounding it. Strong religious beliefs play a huge role in the social norms of marriage.
*Forgive me for my use of America to signify the United States. I personally hate the connotation that the US encompasses every possible North American and South American country that could also be called 'America' but it is such a common term here that I'm getting sucked into their vernacular.
Mefloquine Side Effects
So for those of you reading who are also taking Mefloquine or are intrigued on what will happen when you're on it for two whole years - here's an update. I have started getting side effects - or I should say ONE side effect. Hair loss. My hair has been falling out like crazy. Thank goodness it was thick to begin with. At first I just thought it was because I rarely wash or brush it so more than usual would fall out at those select times I mess with it. However it started to seem like a bigger problem than that. I checked with other PCVs and the majority of us girls have noticed considerable hair loss. It's not like I have bald patches or anything but I do get clumps coming out. I am also attributing it to stress and fluctuating/poor nutrition. As my first and only side effect at the moment - I'll take it.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Pen Pal
Hey everyone,
I am looking for a pen pal for a boy in the secondary school near me. He would like to email back and forth with someone, an American someone, to work on his English. I think it would be most appropriate if it was an adolescent boy. He is a graduating senior. I would also like to stress the consistency and dedication to writing to him. He used to have a pen pal in the past and is very sad to have had that relationship fall apart. This would purely be a cultural exchange. Let me know if you are interested. Thanks.
I am looking for a pen pal for a boy in the secondary school near me. He would like to email back and forth with someone, an American someone, to work on his English. I think it would be most appropriate if it was an adolescent boy. He is a graduating senior. I would also like to stress the consistency and dedication to writing to him. He used to have a pen pal in the past and is very sad to have had that relationship fall apart. This would purely be a cultural exchange. Let me know if you are interested. Thanks.
Out of Order - Day 30
50th attempt at posting this video...really learned my lesson about videos not being worth it.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Island
No man is an island, right? Well listen up because I've just discovered the flaw of the Peace Corps. We are assigned to a specific community. Under normal circumstances you are the sole representative of the Peace Corps in your community (Rwanda is an exception and many of us are placed with or near another PCV). You are expected to work a job and create secondary projects that reflect the largest need in the community as well as your individual skill set and interest. These secondary projects may include building a library, starting a life skills camp for empowering girls, and a million other things. Most secondary projects involve fundraising or getting grant money, setting up a training, orchestrating an event, mobilizing a group of people, supervising others. Throughout all of this, you are expected to work as a one-woman-show (in my case). Well, believe it or not, most people's skills lie in one area, not ten. We are expected to take on each step of the project and create some colossal success. I personally would like to work as a team. Doesn't that create some logic? I can use my strengths but shouldn't I also be allowed to exploit another PCV's talent? Luckily, in Rwanda, I can easily advertise and recruit other PCVs to a project of mine and create a beautiful synergy of strengths. But for other programs in other countries, should the one person system be disbanded to allow partnerships for projects? and how many people can actually identify their own strengths and know what would complement them best? Think about it Peace Corps, just think about it.
Inertia
Today, as I was completely zoned out during a meeting, I realized my largest challenge here. It is the extremes of my brain functioning. I'd say 80% of the time I am a total zombie. I can't understand what anyone is saying around me (and I stopped trying to understand) or I'm waiting for something because things are inevitably slow, and my brain just shuts off. I used to daydream or make lists in my head or funny little story lines but lately I've just…stopped, all together.
Then at other times I need to force my brain into turbo mode or as I like to call it - what my brain used to be like every day in America. I have to make do something quickly and effectively, usually something I am completely unqualified to do. Getting up enough energy and motivation to perform like that is difficult when you've been sitting in zombie state for the rest of the day/week/how long have I been here?
Then at other times I need to force my brain into turbo mode or as I like to call it - what my brain used to be like every day in America. I have to make do something quickly and effectively, usually something I am completely unqualified to do. Getting up enough energy and motivation to perform like that is difficult when you've been sitting in zombie state for the rest of the day/week/how long have I been here?
Good Morning
Thought it might be interesting to describe a typical morning for me here in Rwanda. I rarely set an alarm - only when I need to catch the 6:40 am Express bus out of town. I generally rise with the sun. My bedroom gets sufficiently bright around 6am, I usually don't get out of bed until 6:30 just out of spite. I'm almost always awoken by noise outside my house before the light gets me though. This morning, for example, was a day of announcements. When the village government has some sort of official message to relay, it uses a very personal system. A man walks around the streets at about 5:30 am and stops periodically to blow his whistle and shout at the top of his lungs. It is very effective. I wake up every time and hear it. Of course it would help if I actually spoke his language. I always catch - Ladies and gentlemen and sometimes something about umuganda (the community service every last Saturday of the month). I've heard that other villages in Rwanda have the same system. Some announcers have a drum. Maybe I'll find my announcement man one day and try to convince him to use the kazoo my sister sent me in the mail.
So back to 6:30 am - I peel back my mosquito net and crawl out of bed.
My bed is not actually a mattress, or what Americans would call a mattress. It is called RwandaFoam and is literally a piece of foam with fabric sewn over it. It's about 2-3 inches thick, although you can buy thicker ones. It hasn't hurt my back at all and I've been sleeping with it on the concrete floor for six weeks. I'm really impressed by my body's ability to be comfortable anywhere. Last weekend I slept on a straw mat on top of a concrete floor. Maybe when I get back home I will begin living very simply.
I immediately turn on Voice of America to have some noise in the house. It has English news from 6:30am-7:40am. It's a great indication of when I should be heading to work.
I head out to my latrine, which is behind my house. I don't mind having a latrine, except my concrete floor is cracking and I'm getting paranoid it may break one day. Just one more thing to talk to the landlord about. Other PCVs like to egg me on by asking if I've ever seen that scene from Slumdog Millionaire. Not Funny.
I wash my hands, wash my face and brush my teeth along the back of my house. I have a nice little concrete drainage system that just leaks the water into my neighbor's yard -making me feel even more guilty when I have water and no one else in my neighborhood does. Then I go into my house and take a bucket bath. What exactly is a bucket bath?, you ask. Well fill up a bucket with water, make it slightly cold. Stand naked in a basin and try to splash water and soap on yourself effectively enough to be considered clean. I usually find that all the soap doesn't wash off but I'd rather save some soap for later than be covered in dirt. Washing my hair is a whole 'nother debacle so I only wash my hair twice/three times a week.
On a day when I'm feeling extra productive, I bring my kerosene stove into my backyard. I light it up using some matches. (I've found that the lighters in this country are incredibly unreliable and most likely broken when you buy them). I set my pot of water on top. I've finally achieved the making of oatmeal in less than a half hour this week! (No more chastising me for bad nutrition, Grandma!) So yes, I've conquered both the kerosene stove and the boiling of water. Success at last. I make fairly decent oatmeal with honey, cinnamon and nutmeg. Adding in fruit or jelly is always an option too. Tea is also made. The rest of the water that I boiled is saved to be poured into the filter and used as drinking water at a later time.
Then it's a quick slathering of sunscreen and I'm off to work.
I almost forgot - what is becoming the favorite part of my day - as soon as I step out of my gate in the morning, the neighborhood kids shout my name. I'm sure it's because I become a small child myself and get a huge grin on my face and wave excitedly at them.
So back to 6:30 am - I peel back my mosquito net and crawl out of bed.
My bed is not actually a mattress, or what Americans would call a mattress. It is called RwandaFoam and is literally a piece of foam with fabric sewn over it. It's about 2-3 inches thick, although you can buy thicker ones. It hasn't hurt my back at all and I've been sleeping with it on the concrete floor for six weeks. I'm really impressed by my body's ability to be comfortable anywhere. Last weekend I slept on a straw mat on top of a concrete floor. Maybe when I get back home I will begin living very simply.
I immediately turn on Voice of America to have some noise in the house. It has English news from 6:30am-7:40am. It's a great indication of when I should be heading to work.
I head out to my latrine, which is behind my house. I don't mind having a latrine, except my concrete floor is cracking and I'm getting paranoid it may break one day. Just one more thing to talk to the landlord about. Other PCVs like to egg me on by asking if I've ever seen that scene from Slumdog Millionaire. Not Funny.
I wash my hands, wash my face and brush my teeth along the back of my house. I have a nice little concrete drainage system that just leaks the water into my neighbor's yard -making me feel even more guilty when I have water and no one else in my neighborhood does. Then I go into my house and take a bucket bath. What exactly is a bucket bath?, you ask. Well fill up a bucket with water, make it slightly cold. Stand naked in a basin and try to splash water and soap on yourself effectively enough to be considered clean. I usually find that all the soap doesn't wash off but I'd rather save some soap for later than be covered in dirt. Washing my hair is a whole 'nother debacle so I only wash my hair twice/three times a week.
On a day when I'm feeling extra productive, I bring my kerosene stove into my backyard. I light it up using some matches. (I've found that the lighters in this country are incredibly unreliable and most likely broken when you buy them). I set my pot of water on top. I've finally achieved the making of oatmeal in less than a half hour this week! (No more chastising me for bad nutrition, Grandma!) So yes, I've conquered both the kerosene stove and the boiling of water. Success at last. I make fairly decent oatmeal with honey, cinnamon and nutmeg. Adding in fruit or jelly is always an option too. Tea is also made. The rest of the water that I boiled is saved to be poured into the filter and used as drinking water at a later time.
Then it's a quick slathering of sunscreen and I'm off to work.
I almost forgot - what is becoming the favorite part of my day - as soon as I step out of my gate in the morning, the neighborhood kids shout my name. I'm sure it's because I become a small child myself and get a huge grin on my face and wave excitedly at them.
Spartans
Spartans, Spartans everywhere! The world is shrinking…either that or all roads from MSU lead to Rwanda. For those of you who don't know me personally, I am an alumna of Michigan State University. I completed my undergrad degrees in East Lansing, MI as well as worked there for two years post graduation. Now it seems like every time I turn my head in Rwanda I run into an MSU alum/student.
I was at work in my cozy little village a few days ago. Edison (my fellow PCV site mate) stepped out of our office at the hospital and almost fell over. He stepped back in and pointed at the white people. Indeed, there was a whole bus full of them. It may seem strange that we feel the need to point at white people but I just can't stop the instinct. I guess I have to stop being a hypocrite and yelling at Rwandans for doing this.
It turns out MSU's medical school decided to send a dozen or so med students to spend a month here - observing Rwandan hospitals and the like. And as if the world couldn't get any smaller, one of them went to school with my cousin. (am I my father or what!?!)
I've also heard that once our dentistry office is open there may be dental students sent from MSU. If only I could get some students to install solar panels for an internet cafe :)
I was at work in my cozy little village a few days ago. Edison (my fellow PCV site mate) stepped out of our office at the hospital and almost fell over. He stepped back in and pointed at the white people. Indeed, there was a whole bus full of them. It may seem strange that we feel the need to point at white people but I just can't stop the instinct. I guess I have to stop being a hypocrite and yelling at Rwandans for doing this.
It turns out MSU's medical school decided to send a dozen or so med students to spend a month here - observing Rwandan hospitals and the like. And as if the world couldn't get any smaller, one of them went to school with my cousin. (am I my father or what!?!)
I've also heard that once our dentistry office is open there may be dental students sent from MSU. If only I could get some students to install solar panels for an internet cafe :)
Ranting
Warning: This is a rant. If you don't want to hear me complain about the state of the world in general and incompetence and injustice in particular, don't read on.
I was listening to the Voice of America yesterday. Voice of America is both my greatest comfort and my largest pest. I swear if they have one more sound bit from a representative from Heritage Foundation only… So yesterday, a man (I can't even call him out because I don't remember his name or his organization/university) was speaking about the transmission of HIV/AIDS. He wanted to the global community/specific countries to commit to a month long promise to practice safe sex. He was enticed by the amazing number of transmissions that could be halted if this month long oath is made. The VOA interviewer questioned whether he was preaching abstinence - which he was not. The man was pushing condom use, etc. He made it sound so simple. As if each person is capable of making a conscious choice about their sexual practices. OF COURSE THEY AREN'T. It is simply not possible to have every single person in the world practice safe sex for a month, or a day, or even an hour.
Like most things it boils down to economics. Some persons are forced to sell their bodies for sex to feed themselves or their family. Some persons were sold into sex slavery also due to poverty. Their owners/traders accrue a profit from their pain.
This lack of choice also has something to do with power. Some persons are being held captive in abusive relationships where they hold no power, especially not sexual power. Some persons become victims to rape and sexual assault that has nothing to do with their own actions or behaviors.
So, yes, a month of responsible safe sex decisions would decrease the transmission of HIV/AIDS. Yes, it is wonderful to have a lofty goal to set the bar high so that some mobilization might happen. But it is also wonderful to give the public real steps towards solutions. They might not sound miraculous. They might not even sound incredibly productive. These are massive issues inflicting the entire world. The solution is not going to be as obvious as making everyone pinky swear to use condoms for an entire month.
I was listening to the Voice of America yesterday. Voice of America is both my greatest comfort and my largest pest. I swear if they have one more sound bit from a representative from Heritage Foundation only… So yesterday, a man (I can't even call him out because I don't remember his name or his organization/university) was speaking about the transmission of HIV/AIDS. He wanted to the global community/specific countries to commit to a month long promise to practice safe sex. He was enticed by the amazing number of transmissions that could be halted if this month long oath is made. The VOA interviewer questioned whether he was preaching abstinence - which he was not. The man was pushing condom use, etc. He made it sound so simple. As if each person is capable of making a conscious choice about their sexual practices. OF COURSE THEY AREN'T. It is simply not possible to have every single person in the world practice safe sex for a month, or a day, or even an hour.
Like most things it boils down to economics. Some persons are forced to sell their bodies for sex to feed themselves or their family. Some persons were sold into sex slavery also due to poverty. Their owners/traders accrue a profit from their pain.
This lack of choice also has something to do with power. Some persons are being held captive in abusive relationships where they hold no power, especially not sexual power. Some persons become victims to rape and sexual assault that has nothing to do with their own actions or behaviors.
So, yes, a month of responsible safe sex decisions would decrease the transmission of HIV/AIDS. Yes, it is wonderful to have a lofty goal to set the bar high so that some mobilization might happen. But it is also wonderful to give the public real steps towards solutions. They might not sound miraculous. They might not even sound incredibly productive. These are massive issues inflicting the entire world. The solution is not going to be as obvious as making everyone pinky swear to use condoms for an entire month.
Out of My Element
Perhaps the most difficult thing to combat here is the unexpected. Everything is new and different. The seasons (or lack thereof), the people, the culture, the gender roles, the speech, the work ethic/practice, the children, the physical contact, the holidays - everything is new and needs to be adjusted to. Just today I showed up to work to discover it was a national holiday. I tried to make bread only to discover that I had bought sorghum flour instead of wheat flour. Does sorghum flour even exist in the US? I had my water delivered by Francois and our two sentence conversation was only half comprehensible to me. I had to buy new flour but first had to discover what the word for flour is. I had to lean on three other PCVs for advice just to figure out why my dough wasn't sticky. These are friends that don't know my every quirk and mood like the friends that I've had for years and can tell quite a few stories about the past. I played ping pong today with a coworker and what could have been a relaxing game taking me back to the summer of playing every day in the McCuen's basement when I was 11, instead just didn't quite feel right because the table was inches shorter than what I'm used to. When I was greeted by my neighbors after work today, the second sentence out of their mouths was about how hungry they are and that they want some of my food and water. I could only respond that I was hungry too.
Lately I've been feeling incredibly guilty, trying to find a balance of sanity and purpose. I enjoy spending time with other PCVs or in my house watching movies or reading, yet I feel like I haven't earned that free time. Have I brainstormed enough, integrated enough, made a fool out of myself enough to warrant downtime? Balance was a lesson preached to me by my mother when I left for college. Study hard but have fun. Life isn't worth living if you don't achieve the perfect balance of hard work and happiness. So a little voice is nagging me now, called guilt. I know deep down I haven't tried hard enough. I know some of the steps to make it right but the complete list isn't even comprehensible to me yet. What does it take to bond with a community? How do I make the correct steps with every unexpected twist along the way? Am I only coping so well because I've been coddling myself with trips away from site, silly romance novels and Rwandans who can speak English?
and why do my blog posts always include more questions than statements?
Lately I've been feeling incredibly guilty, trying to find a balance of sanity and purpose. I enjoy spending time with other PCVs or in my house watching movies or reading, yet I feel like I haven't earned that free time. Have I brainstormed enough, integrated enough, made a fool out of myself enough to warrant downtime? Balance was a lesson preached to me by my mother when I left for college. Study hard but have fun. Life isn't worth living if you don't achieve the perfect balance of hard work and happiness. So a little voice is nagging me now, called guilt. I know deep down I haven't tried hard enough. I know some of the steps to make it right but the complete list isn't even comprehensible to me yet. What does it take to bond with a community? How do I make the correct steps with every unexpected twist along the way? Am I only coping so well because I've been coddling myself with trips away from site, silly romance novels and Rwandans who can speak English?
and why do my blog posts always include more questions than statements?
Whiney
I believe I've hit my first slump. Rwandans are driving me crazy so I'm going to take this opportunity to whine a bit.
Top three things that drive me crazy about Rwandans:
1. Lack of manners. There is no such thing as chivalry here or really politeness in general. There is no precedent for men holding open doors for women. People push each other or get in each other's way without saying excuse me. Please and thank you are rarely used. Lines don't exist here. You just sort of crowd around and push each other out of the way. And it's not like everyone here moves slowly and acts like they have all the time in the world. Some people are in a rush yet no one else seems to care to get out of their way or move any faster than at a snail's pace.
2. Lack of logic. The other day my bus 'broke down'. We were driving to Kigali (a quick 50 minute ride) and all of a sudden we had to pull over to the side of the road. A couple guys started walking down the road. Forty minutes later, when they returned, I figured out that we didn't really break down. We just ran out of gasoline. Really! You couldn't plan for a 50 minute drive. That was too much. There are many more examples of things that just seem so obvious, so simple, yet no logic. One of my favorite irritations is on the radio. They play music yet decide to talk over the songs. The DJs just butt right in and say whatever they want, usually not even related to the song being played. What's with that?! Couldn't people here the songs better if there was no talking? Hmm.
3. Grunting. The amount of communication that takes place with no actual words is astounding. Sometimes you can hear a whole half of a phone conversation and the one person will not have uttered a single word. It's just constant grunting noises. And no one says 'bye' on the phone, they just hang up. Use your words!
Every little thing is driving me crazy the past few days. Why do people act this way? Why do they complain about the food yet not cook different things? Why do they grow so much produce yet not eat any of it? Why do they raise a ton of goats yet have a social stigma against goat milk? Why do all the stores sell exactly the same thing and think they are going to be successful against other stores? Why do they shake hands every five seconds and are then shocked when they all get sick all the time? Why do they call every woman 'sister' when they are trying to sell something? Why do they think I want to get on the bus or in a cab even when it's going in the opposite direction I'm walking?
Ugh.
Top three things that drive me crazy about Rwandans:
1. Lack of manners. There is no such thing as chivalry here or really politeness in general. There is no precedent for men holding open doors for women. People push each other or get in each other's way without saying excuse me. Please and thank you are rarely used. Lines don't exist here. You just sort of crowd around and push each other out of the way. And it's not like everyone here moves slowly and acts like they have all the time in the world. Some people are in a rush yet no one else seems to care to get out of their way or move any faster than at a snail's pace.
2. Lack of logic. The other day my bus 'broke down'. We were driving to Kigali (a quick 50 minute ride) and all of a sudden we had to pull over to the side of the road. A couple guys started walking down the road. Forty minutes later, when they returned, I figured out that we didn't really break down. We just ran out of gasoline. Really! You couldn't plan for a 50 minute drive. That was too much. There are many more examples of things that just seem so obvious, so simple, yet no logic. One of my favorite irritations is on the radio. They play music yet decide to talk over the songs. The DJs just butt right in and say whatever they want, usually not even related to the song being played. What's with that?! Couldn't people here the songs better if there was no talking? Hmm.
3. Grunting. The amount of communication that takes place with no actual words is astounding. Sometimes you can hear a whole half of a phone conversation and the one person will not have uttered a single word. It's just constant grunting noises. And no one says 'bye' on the phone, they just hang up. Use your words!
Every little thing is driving me crazy the past few days. Why do people act this way? Why do they complain about the food yet not cook different things? Why do they grow so much produce yet not eat any of it? Why do they raise a ton of goats yet have a social stigma against goat milk? Why do all the stores sell exactly the same thing and think they are going to be successful against other stores? Why do they shake hands every five seconds and are then shocked when they all get sick all the time? Why do they call every woman 'sister' when they are trying to sell something? Why do they think I want to get on the bus or in a cab even when it's going in the opposite direction I'm walking?
Ugh.
Fourth of July
I tried to celebrate the Fourth of July as best as I could. Usually I would be vacationing for a whole week in northern Michigan with my family. Fourth of July is a wonderful, magical time of activity-packed vacation. I dare say it's even better than Christmas (if only it included my grandma's spaghetti). So Fourth of July in Rwanda had a lot to live up to.
I decided to attend the festivities at the US Embassy in the capital. For a price I was able to surround myself with other Americans, eat quasi-American food and participate in classic barbecue activities. There was volleyball, water balloons, bean bag toss. I ate a hamburger and it even had lettuce on it! The hotdogs were a little sketchier. Not quite Kowalski. Just to activate every American cell in my body, I even ate the potato salad (which I usually hate) and found it was delicious. I've been missing out all these years! The cake couldn't even be considered cake but I did pay extra to eat a chocolate apple pie that was submitted for the pie contest. I don't know if it won but it sure was delicious. Everything came with a price tag, sadly. But the ultimate highlight was the bathroom and drinking fountain. I was able to drink water straight out of the fountain without boiling it or filtering it or worrying that I would get some form of worms, etc. That moment was magical. I went back twice. I felt like one of those kids who is completely entertained for days with an empty box instead of wanting a present inside.
The pleasures of life are so simple here. Tap water has become my favorite thing about America.
I decided to attend the festivities at the US Embassy in the capital. For a price I was able to surround myself with other Americans, eat quasi-American food and participate in classic barbecue activities. There was volleyball, water balloons, bean bag toss. I ate a hamburger and it even had lettuce on it! The hotdogs were a little sketchier. Not quite Kowalski. Just to activate every American cell in my body, I even ate the potato salad (which I usually hate) and found it was delicious. I've been missing out all these years! The cake couldn't even be considered cake but I did pay extra to eat a chocolate apple pie that was submitted for the pie contest. I don't know if it won but it sure was delicious. Everything came with a price tag, sadly. But the ultimate highlight was the bathroom and drinking fountain. I was able to drink water straight out of the fountain without boiling it or filtering it or worrying that I would get some form of worms, etc. That moment was magical. I went back twice. I felt like one of those kids who is completely entertained for days with an empty box instead of wanting a present inside.
The pleasures of life are so simple here. Tap water has become my favorite thing about America.
Dry Season
I can describe how I feel in one word - dusty. Oh my, I wish it would rain and this is only month one of the dry season. All the plants and trees next to the road are covered in a light brown layer of dirt. Your throat is parched and you have definitely ingested some dirt. Your clothes could be shaken out at the end of the day and produce their own sand cloud. When a big truck or bus is coming down the road towards you, you cringe because the cloud it billows up is about to enter your every orifice. Water is getting scarcer since the water from the pumps is from rainclouds. What's most frustrating of all - there are very cloudy days, windy too. You'd swear it was going to rain - and then, nothing.
Welcome to the dry spell.
Welcome to the dry spell.
Insanity
I am going slightly insane. I sat in a chair at the guesthouse literally all morning stressing myself out. It all started when I woke up this morning and didn't want to get out of bed. Not completely unreasonable. You all probably have those days/every day the alarm goes off. Instantly my mind started racing with the laundry list of chores that I need to accomplish in the near future. My house is a complete disaster zone - cluttered and dirty with rotting fruit contained inside. Every simple thing becomes an issue that takes more brain power than you would imagine. Take for example the rotting fruit. Obviously I need to throw it away, however, the garbage issue resurfaces. I don't have my own compost pile yet so normally I would throw it into the field next door. Maybe it's only half rotting and my neighbors would eat it. But I don't really want to start a relationship of me giving them food for free, especially food that probably shouldn't be consumed. How rude to give someone a piece of rotting fruit! Better to put it in the field and a starving neighbor can fetch it from there, right?
So back to the guesthouse. I escape into my computer writing blog entries and emails in preparation for amazing internet next week at the training. Then I start looking over grad school information. I can feel my blood pressure rising and major life decisions are popping up everywhere. Why am I jumping two years into the future instead of living in the present? Why do I always do this - I avoid reality by focusing all my effort on something I can't even do anything about yet. This is probably why I took two years off after undergrad. Trying to line up a life after this two adventure will distract me from pouring my heart and soul into the projects I should be doing here. I've been bobbing along. It's time for me to dig my heels in and get to work. Easier said than done. I knew going into this it was all a mental game, mainly against yourself. At the moment, I'm losing but I'm going to refocus and remember why I'm here and no the answer is not to go on vacation and travel around for two years. It also is not allowed to be to make some great new American friends. If I'm being completely honest, I came for the allure of living in a new place with new people. Well, the newness is wearing off. Now I'm realizing that little voice calmly urging me to join the Peace Corps probably had more planned for me than what my limited perception could procure.
**This was written before I realize I would NOT have amazing internet at training. Darn.
So back to the guesthouse. I escape into my computer writing blog entries and emails in preparation for amazing internet next week at the training. Then I start looking over grad school information. I can feel my blood pressure rising and major life decisions are popping up everywhere. Why am I jumping two years into the future instead of living in the present? Why do I always do this - I avoid reality by focusing all my effort on something I can't even do anything about yet. This is probably why I took two years off after undergrad. Trying to line up a life after this two adventure will distract me from pouring my heart and soul into the projects I should be doing here. I've been bobbing along. It's time for me to dig my heels in and get to work. Easier said than done. I knew going into this it was all a mental game, mainly against yourself. At the moment, I'm losing but I'm going to refocus and remember why I'm here and no the answer is not to go on vacation and travel around for two years. It also is not allowed to be to make some great new American friends. If I'm being completely honest, I came for the allure of living in a new place with new people. Well, the newness is wearing off. Now I'm realizing that little voice calmly urging me to join the Peace Corps probably had more planned for me than what my limited perception could procure.
**This was written before I realize I would NOT have amazing internet at training. Darn.
Insanity
I am going slightly insane. I sat in a chair at the guesthouse literally all morning stressing myself out. It all started when I woke up this morning and didn't want to get out of bed. Not completely unreasonable. You all probably have those days/every day the alarm goes off. Instantly my mind started racing with the laundry list of chores that I need to accomplish in the near future. My house is a complete disaster zone - cluttered and dirty with rotting fruit contained inside. Every simple thing becomes an issue that takes more brain power than you would imagine. Take for example the rotting fruit. Obviously I need to throw it away, however, the garbage issue resurfaces. I don't have my own compost pile yet so normally I would throw it into the field next door. Maybe it's only half rotting and my neighbors would eat it. But I don't really want to start a relationship of me giving them food for free, especially food that probably shouldn't be consumed. How rude to give someone a piece of rotting fruit! Better to put it in the field and a starving neighbor can fetch it from there, right?
So back to the guesthouse. I escape into my computer writing blog entries and emails in preparation for amazing internet next week at the training. Then I start looking over grad school information. I can feel my blood pressure rising and major life decisions are popping up everywhere. Why am I jumping two years into the future instead of living in the present? Why do I always do this - I avoid reality by focusing all my effort on something I can't even do anything about yet. This is probably why I took two years off after undergrad. Trying to line up a life after this two adventure will distract me from pouring my heart and soul into the projects I should be doing here. I've been bobbing along. It's time for me to dig my heels in and get to work. Easier said than done. I knew going into this it was all a mental game, mainly against yourself. At the moment, I'm losing but I'm going to refocus and remember why I'm here and no the answer is not to go on vacation and travel around for two years. It also is not allowed to be to make some great new American friends. If I'm being completely honest, I came for the allure of living in a new place with new people. Well, the newness is wearing off. Now I'm realizing that little voice calmly urging me to join the Peace Corps probably had more planned for me than what my limited perception could procure.
**This was written before I realize I would NOT have amazing internet at training. Darn.
So back to the guesthouse. I escape into my computer writing blog entries and emails in preparation for amazing internet next week at the training. Then I start looking over grad school information. I can feel my blood pressure rising and major life decisions are popping up everywhere. Why am I jumping two years into the future instead of living in the present? Why do I always do this - I avoid reality by focusing all my effort on something I can't even do anything about yet. This is probably why I took two years off after undergrad. Trying to line up a life after this two adventure will distract me from pouring my heart and soul into the projects I should be doing here. I've been bobbing along. It's time for me to dig my heels in and get to work. Easier said than done. I knew going into this it was all a mental game, mainly against yourself. At the moment, I'm losing but I'm going to refocus and remember why I'm here and no the answer is not to go on vacation and travel around for two years. It also is not allowed to be to make some great new American friends. If I'm being completely honest, I came for the allure of living in a new place with new people. Well, the newness is wearing off. Now I'm realizing that little voice calmly urging me to join the Peace Corps probably had more planned for me than what my limited perception could procure.
**This was written before I realize I would NOT have amazing internet at training. Darn.
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